53. Connecting Through Games
“That’s the beauty of some of these games—you get to be with people and still have something going on.”
As we continue our Season 3 theme of connection, we’re talking about something simple that we both enjoy—games.
Growing up, some of our most consistent and memorable family moments of connection came from sitting around a table playing cards or a round of Trivial Pursuit. There wasn’t anything particularly elaborate about it (although it sometimes got competitive), but there was something about having a shared activity that made being together feel fun and natural.
It feels like games are making a quiet comeback. And maybe that’s because they offer something many of us are craving—a low-effort way to connect in a world that often feels so busy and digital.
Games give you something to do while you’re together. They take the pressure off needing to carry the conversation. Whether it’s a quick card game, a weekly trivia night, or something as simple as Jenga or ping pong, they create space for connection in a way that feels light and approachable.
In this episode, we talk about the games we’ve loved over the years—both growing up and now with our own families—as well as a few we’re curious to try. We also share what we’ve noticed about how different games fit different groups, moods, and stages of life.
Our hope is that this conversation reminds you that connection doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s as simple as pulling out a deck of cards and inviting someone to join you.
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[[00:21] Christina Donovan: Welcome to Messy Middlescence.
[00:24] This is a podcast where we talk honestly about the changes, change, challenges, connections, and gifts that come with midlife.
[00:32] Nothing too polished, just real conversations that remind us we're not alone.
[00:37] So let's dive in.
[00:39] This is Christina or Tina Conti Donovan, and I'm here with my sister,
[00:44] Tara Conti Bansal and on Messy Middlescence. Today we're going to actually be talking about games in our theme for this season of connection.
[00:58] We thought games might be a nice way to introduce other ways to connect to family members or friends.
[01:10] Games are something that a lot of people do within their families already,
[01:15] but we have noticed, Tara and I, that games are sort of having a resurgence. We hear more of people who have gaming nights.
[01:26] And I know as we get older and are looking for activities, games become with friends,
[01:34] a nice way to socialize.
[01:37] Doesn't require alcohol or food necessarily. Obviously that's an option. But yeah. So we thought we would talk about games in this way and I guess make some recommendations on games that we have enjoyed with friends and family and hopefully inspire you guys out there to have some new activities and some options for socializing and connecting with others.
[02:10] Tara Bansal: What's your favorite game to play right now?
[02:14] Christina Donovan: I think that's part of the thing that can be fun or tricky about games is it depends on who you're playing with, you know, and what they
[02:23] Tara Bansal: like and what they want to, you know.
[02:25] Christina Donovan: Right. And kind of what you're in the mood for.
[02:27] My immediate family with my children and my husband and I, we do not play a lot of card games, even though I love card games because we are a family of five.
[02:38] But a lot of card games require partners or friends. Four is a much easier number to play with.
[02:46] So when we play as a family games, cards doesn't become something that is easy for us. Whereas I know your family plays a lot of cards.
[02:55] Tara Bansal: Yeah.
[02:56] Christina Donovan: But you're a family of four, which
[02:58] Tara Bansal: makes it so much easier. And I think that's a great point. When I think of your family playing games, I think of word games. Bananagrams or Scrabble.
[03:10] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I mean, I would say my family are big trivia fans. So Trivial Pursuit.
[03:16] Bananagrams is a big favorite. Scrabble, definitely those types of words and trivia games are more heavily favored in my family. My immediate family.
[03:27] Tara Bansal: Yeah. And my family, our go to is Euchre. I think it has another name, but I can't think of what it is at the moment.
[03:37] Christina Donovan: But do you want to spell that for people? So, yeah, if they want to look
[03:41] Tara Bansal: it up and it will be in the show notes, but it's E,
[03:45] U C H,
[03:47] R E.
[03:48] So it. It's an unusual spelling.
[03:52] I feel like growing up, we played a lot of cards. I remember playing cards with our grandparents and playing gin rummy and spit and I mean, crazy eights is always easy.
[04:05] And hearts, like at the beach, we played a lot of hearts. And spades.
[04:10] Christina Donovan: Yeah. Growing up, I'm big proponent of hearts and spades. Yeah.
[04:16] Tara Bansal: Because that. You can have more than four. You can have at least four, but you can have more than that.
[04:21] But Euchre is a game we played a lot in Pittsburgh and all of our high school friends, we still play it and we play it with our boys. We have designated teams.
[04:39] Nathan and I are one team and Nimit and Alex are another team.
[04:45] And I just love it.
[04:47] There's not too much brain power in it. And so there is some of the luck of your cards, but there is some strategy.
[04:55] And I don't know, we just have a really fun time playing Euchre.
[05:00] Christina Donovan: We.
[05:00] Tara Bansal: I mean, growing up, we played Trivia Pursuit, which I feel like is a huge.
[05:06] Christina Donovan: As a family.
[05:07] Tara Bansal: Yeah, as a family.
[05:09] And now the new version,
[05:11] which last Christmas we got. It's called Outsmarted and I think of it as Trivia Pursuit, only with the questions are. Are new.
[05:25] They're not on.
[05:27] Christina Donovan: Yeah. So.
[05:28] Tara Bansal: And there's categories like music and entertainment, but there's also like current events that are literally up to like the day before because they're pulled from the Internet.
[05:43] And I guess. Yeah, I'm surprised teen you haven't played it with us. But it's very fun and we enjoy playing that. It's just more to me than easier, more modern version of Trivia Pursuit.
[05:59] And like Trivia Pursuit, you can get a super easy question that feels totally unfair and it's all the luck of the draw.
[06:08] Christina Donovan: The luck of the draw.
[06:11] Tara Bansal: But that's a fun one that I recommend and we've enjoyed very much over the past year.
[06:19] Christina Donovan: We like in our family to play games that you're in teams for. I mean, that's definitely the way what we prefer.
[06:29] Tara Bansal: And when we were growing up, like, instead of playing Trivia Pursuit individually, we always just did two teams.
[06:37] Christina Donovan: Teams. Yeah, yeah.
[06:39] Tara Bansal: And I think that is fun.
[06:41] Christina Donovan: Teams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[06:42] Tara Bansal: And same with. When we play Outsmarted, we do the same as we always do teams.
[06:49] So more brains are better than one.
[06:52] My boys right now are crazy into ping pong or table tennis and that's their stress reliever.
[07:02] And.
[07:02] And I love it, too. I mean, it's something I don't like playing,
[07:07] like, keep score. But I will hit with the boys because I'm by far the worst player in our family that I don't feel like it's very fun for them. But you can talk, you can listen to music,
[07:22] and it gives you something to do.
[07:24] And that's, to me, the beauty of some of these games,
[07:27] that you get to be with people and still have something going on.
[07:35] Christina Donovan: Yeah. We've had several social outings where we played Jenga. It's the larger Jenga pieces. So I guess Jenga comes in all different sizes now.
[07:48] And this one is fairly large.
[07:51] Not super big, but larger than the one I own or that I grew up playing in.
[07:59] And it's a good game because people can stand around and talk and socialize, but there's still something else going on.
[08:09] And I think if you are using games as a social activity, that's the type of thing that you want. You want people to be able to converse and kind of have conversations and mingle, even around this one activity.
[08:25] Tara Bansal: And that's what I think of with bowling.
[08:28] I feel like it's a common corporate event that we did back in the day, but you have something to do, but you're still together and conversing.
[08:39] And that was easy. And now the modern one is topgolf, where it's kind of like you're in a bowling alley, but people hit golf balls,
[08:49] and those are expensive. But the Jenga, I feel like, is an easy.
[08:55] Christina Donovan: Yeah, it's.
[08:56] Tara Bansal: You don't have to go anywhere or, you know.
[09:00] Christina Donovan: Right. We've done it in people's houses, and we've never had more than six at a time.
[09:05] It has people on their feet and they're kind of mingling, and it's. Yeah, it's a good focal point.
[09:11] I agree about the bowling. We recently were at my younger son's family weekend, and bowling was an activity that they had at his college and allowed people to kind of socialize and make small talk.
[09:28] And everybody had something in common. Talking about their either lack of bowling skills or their impressive bowling skills. I don't know. It was a good way to kind of break the ice and meet some people and mingle.
[09:43] So.
[09:44] Tara Bansal: Yeah,
[09:45] I agree.
[09:47] Another game that.
[09:49] I guess this is with technology, too, but my family loves to play, like, Name that Tune,
[09:57] somebody will be in charge, and they'll play songs, and we always have fun with that. I mean,
[10:04] it's where usually I always say, my boys will win any 80s music competition for their age,
[10:14] but it's a good one.
[10:17] I feel like the big rage is now mahjong. I may not be saying that. Right. I haven't played it, but I know I haven't either. A lot of country clubs and different women's groups are playing it, and it seems to be very popular.
[10:35] I have a good friend who. She's now doing it every week and seems to enjoy it with a group of women.
[10:42] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I mean, it's funny, we've had conversations in some of our social circles about the idea of, like, a bridge night,
[10:50] which I think used to be super popular.
[10:54] I think particularly in the 50s and 60s and 70s,
[10:58] you see it in old media, you know, whether it's movies or books or whatever. And.
[11:04] And it is a nice idea to have like a bridge night where couples or women could get. Or men could get together.
[11:12] But I don't know. Bridge is a little intimidating. I know people that do play and play it well and,
[11:19] you know, there's definitely a learning curve, but it is something to keep in mind.
[11:24] Tara Bansal: I'm intimidated by bridge. I've never played it, but it seems there's a lot to learn and you have to use a decent amount of brain power. And that's where I love Euchre, where it seems like very bridge light.
[11:40] Christina Donovan: Yes.
[11:40] Tara Bansal: Not very many rules, not that many cards, you know.
[11:44] Christina Donovan: But my impression is mahjong is pretty complicated, too.
[11:48] Tara Bansal: Yeah.
[11:48] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[11:49] Tara Bansal: I know nothing about it, but I just keep hearing people talk about it,
[11:53] Christina Donovan: and it's possible that there are community college classes or places where you can go to learn it.
[12:03] I think that's what I would want to do if I were going to undertake one of those as a social activity.
[12:11] Try to take some formal lessons in it, I guess.
[12:15] Yeah.
[12:16] Tara Bansal: And I'm sure they offer that.
[12:18] That would be good. And same with the bridge. I bet there is for that. Yeah.
[12:23] I mean, our high school friends,
[12:26] one of them had like, a horseshoe pit, and that's similar.
[12:31] Christina Donovan: Right.
[12:31] Tara Bansal: People just hang out and there's a few people playing, and I can't think of the name of the. With the beanbags that go in the hole.
[12:41] Christina Donovan: Oh, cornhole. Yeah.
[12:42] Tara Bansal: Yeah. I mean, we also love cornhole because that's fun and. And people.
[12:47] Christina Donovan: Yeah. Here quaits is the other big.
[12:50] What is that?
[12:51] It's called quaits. It's like horseshoes, but it's done with a slate. But yeah, these are the same idea that you can kind of socialize and play in their teams and, you know, you can have an activity while you're socializing.
[13:07] Yeah.
[13:08] Tara Bansal: And the new one is the axe throwing, which I have no desire to do.
[13:14] Christina Donovan: Me either.
[13:15] Tara Bansal: We.
[13:16] Christina Donovan: We have one of those downtown where live. And.
[13:19] And I know one of my sons went and did it not downtown, but down at school.
[13:26] Yeah.
[13:27] Maybe that's for younger.
[13:29] Yeah.
[13:30] Tara Bansal: People. That's not for me. So I'll be upfront with that.
[13:36] Christina Donovan: But I mean, the other thing that this has been around for a long time because I can remember doing it in Atlanta, so. So it was back in the 90s, but so many restaurants and bars now have the trivia night,
[13:51] which we love.
[13:53] Yeah. I know I had fun doing it when I was younger. And I know one of my sons, when he is home, goes regularly with a group of friends.
[14:03] Tara Bansal: And
[14:05] Christina Donovan: I always remember it being an electronic game. Your team had a receiver and it was multiple choice. But I know the ones that my son goes to. It's a person doing.
[14:17] Yeah. Trivia questions. So I guess it can depend.
[14:21] But that's fun to do in a group. And it is really fun.
[14:24] Tara Bansal: The place that does it here in Princeton, it's Tuesday night and last night we drove by it and it was packed because it was a beautiful temperature. And I know some teams are there every single week.
[14:40] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I know where my son goes. If you don't make a reservation, you can't get in. You basically can't get in.
[14:48] Tara Bansal: And it's interesting because I do remember it used to be electronic, and now usually it is somebody announcing it and you have to hand write.
[14:58] Christina Donovan: Which surprised me. In this tech age,
[15:01] like back in the 90s, there wasn't near the technology that we have now. And I guess some of that. Maybe there's a cost to using that program or there's the technical coordination and setup of it.
[15:15] I don't know. Maybe all those things have rendered it more difficult than just having a person.
[15:21] Yeah.
[15:22] Tara Bansal: But it's fun having a team and trying to decide what answered. And I always feel like I learn interesting things whenever I go. It's very fun.
[15:31] Yeah, that's one of my favorites.
[15:34] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I haven't done it in ages, but I remember it being fun. And we always love hearing when my son comes home, we're always like, what were some of the questions?
[15:43] Like, he always gives us the final question. And yeah,
[15:47] it's always fun to hear about.
[15:49] Is there a game, Terry, your family wants to play or wants to learn that they.
[15:55] Tara Bansal: Well, it's interesting on.
[15:59] I think it was Alex's birthday,
[16:01] he got Coyote which is this game.
[16:06] It's fairly new.
[16:08] It was designed by Tim Ferriss of like the Four Hour Work Week and the guy who created exploding Kittens.
[16:20] And it's supposed to be very simple,
[16:26] but we haven't played it. It got great reviews.
[16:31] Christina Donovan: Is it a board game?
[16:33] Tara Bansal: No, it's a card game. It sounds fun, but yeah, like even I think kids can do it. It is.
[16:40] Christina Donovan: Right.
[16:41] Tara Bansal: But it's like from you know, 6 to 106. Anybody can do it. And another game we've played with our like extended family on the cousin get together week weekends is like left, right and center.
[16:59] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[17:00] Tara Bansal: You know, people have chips or you know, pennies or dimes or whatever. And playing that is very fun because it's, you know,
[17:11] not,
[17:12] not too much thinking and luck and seeing what happens. Yeah.
[17:16] Christina Donovan: And that's a good game to travel with.
[17:18] Tara Bansal: Yeah.
[17:19] Christina Donovan: Because it's small and that's the way we are with Bananagrams. We never go anywhere without a Bananagrams.
[17:28] Because it's small and it's so small. Yeah. Easy to, to transport. Yeah.
[17:33] Tara Bansal: And I feel, I. Like I said, that's why I think of your family with you guys introduced us to banana grams. But your family's so word wise and good at. I feel.
[17:45] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I mean we lean that way. But yeah. I think we do like cards though. It's. I, Yeah.
[17:53] Tara Bansal: I feel like one of the board games.
[17:58] Well, Alex,
[17:59] my younger one, loves playing the game of life,
[18:02] which has changed a lot from the version we used to play with.
[18:08] Christina Donovan: Yes.
[18:10] Tara Bansal: And that's interesting. Another board game we like is. Sorry.
[18:15] Cause it's pretty simple.
[18:18] But I have a hard time like being mean and kind of choosing who, you know.
[18:25] Christina Donovan: Who you're going to send back. Yeah.
[18:26] Tara Bansal: Who you're going to send back.
[18:27] Christina Donovan: And I mean I think that is something particularly if you're doing games as a social activity with a group.
[18:34] You want games that have a definitive end, like no Monopoly, no Risk,
[18:40] no Settlers of Catan.
[18:42] Because those games can go on and on and on and on. And I think they're great for a long weekend with family or. But again, if you're doing a social activity with friends, it's probably better to keep to games that are quicker.
[18:57] A little quicker and shorter. Yeah.
[19:00] Tara Bansal: And that's one of like, I feel like Euchre is one of those that generally doesn't take more than a half hour.
[19:08] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[19:10] And that way you can switch up partners if you want or.
[19:13] And I mean we haven't mentioned, I mean poker obviously is the social gathering Game for a lot of adults.
[19:28] Tara Bansal: I mean the other is like darts and. Right. And like foosball or billiards. That. But you have to have a place that has those.
[19:41] Christina Donovan: Yes.
[19:43] Tara Bansal: And then I feel like usually there's people who are really good at that and then there's those that.
[19:49] Christina Donovan: Yeah, those are a little trickier, I feel like. But.
[19:53] Tara Bansal: But it's funny. I think that's true with bowling and yet I don't really think of bowling as.
[20:00] Christina Donovan: Yeah, you're right. I guess, I don't know. I guess because the bowling doesn't involve, I don't know, darts can be scary.
[20:15] Tara Bansal: Yeah, that's. I think of darts was like similar to the axe throwing. Like.
[20:19] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[20:20] And I do feel, I mean even billiards, like you have to have a certain amount of form and understanding of the game. Whereas bowling you just kind of. Especially now with bowling.
[20:30] Yeah. All you have to just throw the ball. So that is true. The shoes. Yeah.
[20:36] So do you get together with friends for games? For games?
[20:41] Tara Bansal: No, we don't like our high school group,
[20:45] which I've talked about before, generally we get together and just have dinner and we don't have time.
[20:54] I think if we're at the beach or like overnight with a group,
[21:00] then it becomes more.
[21:01] That's more the norm then.
[21:04] But like when we go on vacations, a lot of times we'll bring our cards and play even at restaurants while we're waiting, depending.
[21:17] And I. We were down in Florida and this group came over to us and was like, are you playing Euchre? And we were like, yeah,
[21:26] because it's a very Midwest game,
[21:29] so not as many people. I think maybe that's not true anymore. But it's like being part of the club, like, oh, you know,
[21:41] and it was fun.
[21:42] I like games and we don't do it that much with friends. It's more just within our family.
[21:49] And even that I feel like is not as often as I would like.
[21:54] Yeah.
[21:55] Just because we're so busy. But like doing the weekly trivia is something I could see Nimit and I doing when we don't have kids at home anymore.
[22:06] Christina Donovan: Right. When you have more time as. Yeah. Uh huh.
[22:10] Tara Bansal: And I mean to me it sounds fun of having like a weekly game group.
[22:17] Christina Donovan: Yeah. I mean I know it's actually men that I know that have. That I don't know any ladies, but I know here on the Hill there's a couple groups of men that have a weekly game night and I think it varies what they play.
[22:34] That's what I was gonna say, do
[22:35] Tara Bansal: they always play the same thing?
[22:37] Christina Donovan: Yeah, it's not like a Dungeons and Dragons or anything like that. Like, it is like board games, and I think they alternate.
[22:47] I don't know exactly.
[22:48] Yeah. I've just spoken to the wives of some of the men that belong, so.
[22:53] Tara Bansal: But, yeah,
[22:54] to me, it sounds like,
[22:58] I don't know, easy and inexpensive and fun.
[23:03] Like you said, you can have food, but you don't have to. So you can just. Right.
[23:07] Christina Donovan: Or you just have, you know, pretzels and potato chips, popcorn and. Yeah.
[23:12] Tara Bansal: Being together.
[23:13] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[23:14] Tara Bansal: And doing more of that. You know, that was. That's our theme of the season, is just how to connect with people. And I do feel like games make it easier and more fun.
[23:28] Christina Donovan: I agree. Yeah.
[23:31] Tara Bansal: So we would love to hear what games you all like, and if you're doing any of that. Yeah.
[23:39] Christina Donovan: If you're participating in a game night or have plans to start a game night, let us know.
[23:45] Tara Bansal: We'd love to hear.
[23:47] Thanks so much.
[23:49] We so appreciate you being here and listening to Messy Middle Essence. We'd love to hear from you, your feedback,
[23:57] ideas,
[23:58] or even topics you'd like us to explore.
[24:01] You can reach us at our website,
[24:04] www.messymiddlescence.com.
[24:08] and don't forget to subscribe or leave a review to help us grow this wonderful community.
[24:14] Thanks.
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If you’re looking for simple ways to connect, here are some of the games we talked about in this episode—ranging from nostalgic favorites to easy, social options you can try right away.
Card Games:
Euchre, Gin Rummy, Spit, Crazy Eights, Hearts, Spades, PokerWord & Trivia Games:
Trivial Pursuit, Outsmarted, Bananagrams, Scrabble, Trivia Nights, Name That TuneBoard & Casual Games:
Jenga, The Game of Life, Sorry!, Left, Right, Center, CoyoteActive & Social Games:
Ping Pong, Bowling, Topgolf, Cornhole, Horseshoes, QuaitsClassic & Social Traditions:
Mahjong, BridgeOther Mentions:
Darts, Foosball, Billiards, Axe ThrowingYou don’t need anything elaborate. Sometimes the simplest games create the most meaningful moments—because they give you a reason to be together.
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Choose a game and try it with other people.
It could be as simple as pulling out a deck of cards with your family, inviting a few friends over for a casual game night, or joining a local trivia night.
Games give you something to do—which often makes connection feel easier and more natural. You don’t need to force conversation or plan anything elaborate. Just being together, sharing a simple activity, is enough.
Keep it simple. Try something new. See what happens.
And if you do, we’d love to hear how it goes.