48. Our Themes for the New Year
“Anytime into the spring you can still be working on and trying different themes to see what is right for you....this shouldn’t be something that adds pressure to your life.”
There’s something compelling about the idea of a clean slate or fresh start as we begin a new year. Rather than setting long lists of goals or resolutions, many people find that choosing a theme—or a single word—creates a more meaningful and sustainable way to invite change.
For the past two seasons of Messy Middlescence, Tara and Tina have shared their personal themes and words for the year ahead, and they continue that tradition in today’s short (but sweet) episode. Together, they reflect on their chosen words and the intentions behind them along with the changes and enrichment they hope it will help bring them throughout the upcoming year
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Christina Donovan: Welcome to Messy Middle Essence.
This is a podcast where we talk honestly about the changes, change, challenges, connections and gifts that come with midlife.
Nothing too polished, just real conversations that remind us we're not alone.
So let's dive in.
Tara Bansal: Hello.
Christina Donovan: Hello.
Tara Bansal: This is Tara Conti Bantal, and I'm here with my sister, Christina Conti Donovan.
And welcome to Messy Middlescence.
We are excited about the new year.
It always.
I've talked about this before. I always feel like it also brings some pressure and heaviness of wanting to do this right.
I do like having a clean slate.
And we did.
I know we did it last year. I'm not sure if we did.
Christina Donovan: We've done it every year. Okay.
Tara Bansal: Of our theme or our word for the year. So we'll put links to more information on this. But instead of doing a New Year's resolution to almost have an idea or something to spotlight or create a focus or theme for you for throughout the year.
Gretchen Rubin does a word to me. It doesn't have to be a word. It can be a phrase or anything that just you would like to remember and remind yourself as you go through this year.
I last year and I still have it on my board. My theme was play and I just wanted to play more and be lighter,
try to do more playful things,
have more joy in my life.
Trying to think one year was just B.
So you can tell the most recent ones are kind of related.
Um,
Gina, what was yours last year?
Christina Donovan: I can't remember. I'm embarrassed to say. I'm gonna look it up.
Tara Bansal: I know I had well and. And I'll come. That's happened to me plenty of times when I choose it and then by the end of the year I don't remember.
So don't feel like that's a tragedy because it happens very often.
And that's part of what I have now started. Like I have it written big on my whiteboard next to me here.
I love if you can put it as one of your screensavers on your phone to have it come up or an image that reminds you just at least I do.
I often need a reminder to keep it front and center and prevalent. Some people put it as a little post it on their bathroom mirror.
To me, the most important thing is for it to be something positive.
You can't fail at it like a resolution. Oftentimes people feel like they failed or they weren't successful. So it's not like a black and white. It's very much a gray or an art of having Something to draw your attention.
And to me, like being more intentional around this concept or this word or idea.
My word theme for 2026 is pause.
Take a break.
And it's to me is related to a couple years ago where I did B.
And those of you on this podcast have heard me talk lots and lots about wanting to do less and simplify my life. And I never feel like I make any progress with that.
And with pause being my theme,
one is to create more space in my life and my day time wise.
But it's also a pause of being intentional of what I say yes to and almost have like the default be no and instead of just saying yes because there's so many shiny objects and things that I get drawn into.
And then I don't love who I am when I'm stressed and,
you know,
overwhelmed.
And so.
And I think of it,
there's the phrase like the space between something and then your reaction,
that's what I'm thinking of is just like the, like an opening, opening parentheses,
a space and a closing parentheses to like sit in that space and be more intentional with myself and what I want to do.
Does that make sense?
Christina Donovan: Tina? This makes sense. I mean, when. When did you decide on this? Or is this something? Like, is this something you were thinking all last year too, or.
Tara Bansal: No, I. I would say I started trying to think about my theme in December.
Christina Donovan: Yeah. And that's when I started too.
Tara Bansal: Yeah. And if, you know,
because I do a theme every year and you start thinking about just feels right. And so in past years, I've started choosing a theme and then I ended up changing it.
So please give yourself permission to do that too.
And you don't have to have your theme decided now. Like, to me, anytime into the spring,
you can still be working on and trying trying different themes and see what feels right for you is the other.
But there's no.
This shouldn't be something that adds pressure to your life.
It should be something positive.
Christina Donovan: Is there. Do you share your theme with people besides messy middlescence? Like, do you talk to your family about it?
Tara Bansal: Yeah,
we usually do.
I'd say almost all of all my boys come up with a theme or a word too.
And we all share our words.
And we did this a little bit at our New Year's where Tina and I were together with our families and our parents. And some people had ideas and some people didn't, but it was.
I always like hearing what people are thinking.
Christina Donovan: Yeah. Well, my theme is more just a word and it is stretch So.
Tara Bansal: I.
Christina Donovan: Mean it in every sense. I guess I'm looking at it from a financial,
From a physical, from a mental and emotional.
I guess for me, it actually started because physically I've been having some back issues and I am not a flexible person. I never stretch before or after. I don't do yoga.
But as I am aging, I am realizing that maybe yoga might be a good thing for me to try or incorporate some type of stretching, daily stretching. And then from there it was kind of like, wow, I can actually extrapolate that into all different areas of my life, especially where I am right now.
I mean, I think pushing me out of my comfort zone, stretching to do things that, you know, are outside of my routine and out of, you know, my,
My day to day.
So,
yeah, it encompasses. I can see where I can use this in almost every facet of my life. So, yeah. But yes,
that's mine for this year.
Tara Bansal: I love it and I love how it can be applied across.
Christina Donovan: It's not just about starting yoga or.
Tara Bansal: Working on your flexibility, but how do you imagine using it around your finances like everyone else?
Christina Donovan: I don't know. We're always looking at different ways to save. So, yeah,
stretching the resources that we have to do more with less,
I guess is.
And it's a little easier now because it's just Matt and I mostly, you know, in terms of day to day budgeting and finances.
So.
Tara Bansal: Yeah. But I'd also encourage you to stretch, to use your money and things that give you joy, you know?
Christina Donovan: Yeah, I mean, I guess that's.
Christina Donovan: Another.
Christina Donovan: Way to look at it that hadn't occurred to me, I'll be honest.
Tara Bansal: But I interpret yours as a little bit of get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Christina Donovan: Yeah, I mean, I think I'm someone who has a pretty set routine and I think that's a good thing in a lot of ways. But I also keep reading how as you get older, the more comfortable you get in, like, the less.
Tara Bansal: People want.
Christina Donovan: To change their routine to go outside of your routine. And I mean, I think that there are dangers that can come with that,
I think not necessarily right now for my age, but I think as you know, you get more into your 70s and 80s and you know, for me, maybe if you start practicing some of those things now, they might stick.
We'll see.
Tara Bansal: I love it.
Christina Donovan: That's a great theme.
Tara Bansal: We would love to hear any of your themes that you're either either pondering or have decided.
To me,
yeah,
everybody,
it's an art.
So think of something that motivates you or helps helps you be more intentional in your life.
Christina Donovan: And I think all the suggestions you gave Tara about posting it or having it available so it it stays with you is is a great one.
Great, great recommendation.
Tara Bansal: All right, today was just a quick one, but we wanted to share our themes. Have a great day.
Speaker D: We hope you have chosen your own theme or word for the upcoming year or that our discussion has inspired you to consider 1.
Our Connection Challenge today is to take whatever theme you have chosen or might be considering and to find a way it can relate to connecting with others or adding connections into your life.
So for instance, my word this year is stretch and I will be trying to stretch my social circles to include new friends and acquaintances.
I will also try to stretch myself and my time to connect more with those I love most through more frequent phone calls, emails, texts and visits.
Just an idea or a suggestion on how you can take your theme or chosen word and try to apply it to connecting more to others.
And again, we'd love to hear about your theme or word for the year.
Tara Bansal: Thanks for listening to Messy Middle Lessons.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
it would mean so much to us if you subscribed, shared it with a friend, or leave a quick review.
It really helps more people find us and we're so grateful that you're here.
Same.
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We recommend this link for additional information on choosing a word/theme/intention for the year:
https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/your-one-word-theme-2026/
Here are our 2 previous episodes on choosing a theme for the New Year:
2025 -Episode #28: Holiday Recap & Intentions for the New Year -https://www.messymiddlescence.com/podcast-ii/blog-post-title-one-g2tjd-s23s6-59acm-492md-4a3yb-d54dy-hhgkm-e5ksx-plwdz-exgbj-bgc4c-dlt87-ds2lk-9hnmf
2024 - Episode #9: Creating a Theme -https://www.messymiddlescence.com/podcast-ii/blog-post-title-one-g2tjd-h6et9-jzlsw-jr2jg-jpc2s-3xkr9-kjjxj-bn56s-elm9r-a4xsw
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We hope you have chosen your own theme or word for the upcoming year or that our discussion has inspired you to consider one.
Our connection challenge today is to take whatever theme you have chosen or might be considering and to find a way it can relate to connecting with others or adding connections to your life.
So for instance, my word this year is stretch and I will be trying to “stretch” my social circles to include new friends and acquaintances. I will also be trying to “stretch” myself and my time to connect more with those I love through more frequent phone calls, email, texts and visits.
I hope my examples help in showing how to incorporate our connection challenge into your theme for the new year. We would love to hear about your theme or word for the year!