60. Season 3 Finale: Connection and Reflections
“My favorite part is just having the conversations”
As we wrap up the third season of Messy Middlescence, Tara and Tina take some time to look back on the conversations, guests, and ideas that stayed with us long after the microphones were turned off.
When we chose "connection" as our theme for Season 3, we knew it would be broad. What we didn't anticipate was just how many different forms connection would take and how timely the topic seems to be in our lives right now. Throughout the season, we explored connection through friendship, grief, creativity, honest conversation, and the importance of hosting and gathering. Alongside those theme-related discussions, we also covered important and informational topics involving money, long-term care, estate planning, life coaching, and health and fitness. Looking back on our season, we are struck not only by the diversity of our guests and our conversations but also by how deeply connection touches every part of our lives.
In this season finale, we reflect on some of our favorite episodes, the conversations that changed us personally, and the ways we've become more intentional about making time for the people who matter most. We also share what surprised us about doing the podcast together, what we've learned from one another over the past three seasons, and what we're hoping to carry with us into the future.
As the conversation turns toward summer, we find ourselves talking about something unexpected: the importance of having something to look forward to each day. It doesn't have to be a vacation or a major milestone. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk outside, a good book, dessert after dinner, or time with someone you love. Those small moments of anticipation and connection may be what help create a life that feels rich and meaningful.
Thank you for spending another season with us. We hope these conversations bring as much meaning and joy to your life as they as do to ours.
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Christina Donovan: Welcome to Messy Middlescence.
This is a podcast where we talk honestly about the changes to challenges, connections and gifts that come with midlife.
Nothing too polished, just real conversations that remind us we're not alone.
So let's dive in.
Tara Bansal: Hello and welcome back to Messy Middlescence. This is Tara Conti Bansal, and I'm here with my sister Christina or Tina Conti Donovan.
This is the finale of our third season at Messy Middlescence. I think each season we have done like a wrap up episode of just what Tina and my takeaways were, what we liked,
what stood out to us, and also looking ahead to what we're excited about.
We're close. I think this will be the 60th episode and almost every season has been approximately 20 episodes.
And in some ways for me,
it feels like we're still kind of new at this and it feels new. And then in other ways, when I look at all the different episodes that even from this season, some of them feel like so long ago,
at least to me.
Welcome. And we don't think this will be a long one, but it's just our takeaways and trying to give some closure from our season three here at Messy Middlescence.
Tina, what stood out to you most about this season?
And I should say this season, our theme that we chose was connection,
and I personally loved that theme. I just, I don't know. That to me was a beautiful theme and so I'm so happy we chose it.
But what's.
Christina Donovan: Yeah, I think it's definitely pertinent to today's times. It's something that I think you see a lot of in social media and in print media.
I think that's.
I think it was very fitting in terms of what stood out the most this season.
In looking back,
to me, it was sort of the breadth of the topics and guests that we had.
When we pick a theme, it's very loose in the sense that not every episode is going to directly connect with that theme.
And yeah, I guess in looking back, we had a wide range of topics and guests and I guess I was impressed at sort of the wide variety that we managed to hit this this season.
How about you?
Tara Bansal: Yeah, I mean, when,
like when I looked at. To review the different episodes from this season, that was part of. When I think of like we had Carl Richards on that feels like two years ago to me.
Christina Donovan: Me too.
Tara Bansal: And,
and I agree with you just on the breadth and also how,
how much connection can relate to everything and anything is the other.
We did have a diverse group of people.
And even some of the episodes Tina and I thought we were gonna do this season that we didn't even get to is funny for the two of us to think about.
One thing that stands out to me is it's not really an intention,
but it keeps happening is each season we've done some financial things and focuses.
And it's just interesting to me that.
Cause that's the world I live in. How.
I don't know how easy that is for me, but also how much that is part of life and is an important part. Like long term care and the estate planning.
Christina Donovan: Yeah, and the estate planning and Carl Richards. Yes.
Tara Bansal: These different ideas, it's not intentional and yet it keeps happening and in a like, organic, natural way that I am liking and appreciative of. So that was.
Christina Donovan: Yeah,
I don't know. I think the financial piece for me,
I always learned so much. And I do feel like, particularly for people in their 40s and 50s,
it's ever present because of what's coming, what's on the horizon, you know? Yeah.
I mean, what would you say some of your favorite episodes from this season were or are?
Tara Bansal: I mean,
I really enjoyed the episode with Shannon, who was my high school friend.
The one with Carl Richards,
I thought was very fun.
I even hate picking that because I just.
Each of them,
I feel like are these. These little gems.
And part of the reason for doing this podcast is because I enjoy it so much. I mean,
I wanted to do this Tina, with you, so we had something to do together and that hasn't disappointed. But each of the. Yeah,
I don't know.
I feel like I'm missing out on so many, but those are the ones that just immediately come to mind. How about you, Tina?
Christina Donovan: I think I have maybe a little bit of a recent bias, like when we talk about books,
I guess two of the episodes that really stand out to me were the long term care and the estate planning. Partly because those were topics I think that at least with the long term care, I wanted more information on.
And I walked away from both of those episodes just feeling much more educated and informed. And I found them super, super helpful personally for where. Where we are, where I am in my life.
But they were also two fairly recent episodes.
Tara Bansal: Yeah. And that's true.
Christina Donovan: So I think that definitely can. Can influence a decision like that.
Tara Bansal: And I also like doing some staples that we came back to were like our favorite books of the year and our favorite things of the year.
And also like I. Even the one with Cindy hearing. I feel like I Learned a lot in that one, too.
Just about, yes.
Christina Donovan: The exercise. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Which is funny because I feel like we are.
I feel I consider myself fairly educated around fitness, and I learned a lot from her in that, too.
So what did you think of the connection challenges?
Christina Donovan: I thought they were good.
I mean, just even to make people think and reflect, even if maybe you didn't do any of them.
I don't know. Did you end up doing any of the connection challenges?
Tara Bansal: I did. I'm trying. I feel like I did probably at least half,
I would say,
and I like them. I don't know. And maybe that's like my.
You know, in my life coaching, I always try to give home play or something to actually take action.
Christina Donovan: Suggestions. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Yeah,
but. And like you said, even if you didn't actually do them, just to think about it,
even that is something that I think is helpful.
Anything you're gonna do differently or you hope to do differently. Because of this season,
Christina Donovan: I do think the theme of connection has really resonated in my own life and just trying to be with people more,
whether it's family or friends,
doing more socializing.
One of the episodes fairly early in the season was about hosting and entertaining,
and I think that.
I don't know, I found that really helpful to kind of get some of that out in the open and talk about insecurities and
Tara Bansal: the pressure around that.
Christina Donovan: The pressure. And I think that that has sort of changed my approach to entertaining and socializing.
I would like to think that I'm connecting more and socializing more because of topics we did or things we discussed this season.
How about you?
Tara Bansal: Yeah, I mean, I do feel like it's something I've known, but this season has made it a lot more intentional and more.
More a focus for me.
Even, like, little things of.
I don't know if it was Shannon or multiple.
Like,
just if I think of someone trying to send a text,
of not even expecting a response, but just letting them know I'm thinking of them.
And I'm not great at that, but I feel like I'm trying to do that a little more.
And for me,
a theme just, you know,
is trying to stop doing so much and just be with people and that,
you know, carried through this season on connection and just trying to focus on that.
So. Yeah,
I agree.
Christina Donovan: I mean, what would you say you learned so far or through this season doing the podcast about yourself, about us, about me?
Tara Bansal: I mean,
Tina, I feel like one. As I said in the beginning, this is really fun for me, and it is a Passion project.
We,
you know,
and my favorite part is just having the conversations either with you and. Or with a guest that we get to have on.
And I'm thoroughly enjoying that.
Christina Donovan: I feel like
Tara Bansal: you're so much more well informed and more,
like, incisive with your questions than I am.
I don't know.
I guess what I'm surprised at is how much fun I'm having with it.
And so, like,
we still.
Every season I asked Tina, like, do you still want to do this?
And so far the answer is yes. And so I'm just excited about that.
I like,
I guess I like shining a spotlight on things that I feel like are common issues or common questions that we have in middle age.
And I get.
Not everybody is in the same place, but I think a lot of our listeners are in just where they are in their lives and trying to figure things out and doing it together and hearing your thoughts for me has been helpful.
What about for you Feel like that was awfully rambly.
Christina Donovan: Yeah. My favorite part is just talking to you and talking to our guests.
We have yet to have a guest that I haven't just been so,
I guess, impressed by.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
Christina Donovan: Talking to.
There's never been a point where,
where when we turn off our mics, I'm just like, wow, like,
that was amazing.
So that's all been good. And yeah, I mean, I think one of the things I have noticed and over the past three seasons is just how much, Terry, you've grown as an interviewer and as,
I don't know, a presence in the podcast.
And I know you talked about my questions being incisive and I don't agree with you, but just,
I don't know, I think that you have really developed some tremendous skills around interviewing and listening,
which, to me,
I guess I'm envious of that growth.
Tara Bansal: Well, thank you.
And,
well,
I feel like you are great at that and I.
I feel like you've also become more comfortable. Do you feel like know about that?
Christina Donovan: But. Wow.
Tara Bansal: I still can tell at times you're not fully comfortable, but I feel like from.
Christina Donovan: It depends on the topic too.
Tara Bansal: Yeah, I think that's true.
And for me,
I have to point out that Tina writes the summaries and how much I appreciate that and I feel like what a great job she does of,
I don't know, connecting the dots and pulling in like, very human things like memories or quotes or that I feel like,
I don't know, just make the episode stand out that much more and pull it together.
And so just Tina does That and I do feel like she's great at it and I do appreciate that.
So I knew you were a good writer,
but having you do that is very nice.
What do you hope listeners took away from season three or take away from season three?
Christina Donovan: I mean, I hope just the way that the theme of connection resonated with us, that struck chords in, in our listeners and made them think about connection in their own lives
Tara Bansal: and be more intentional. For me, it's like, you know,
being intentional of creating that space or creating those get togethers and I don't know, instead of. I feel like life can slip by so easily with all the shoulds and the busyness and to make time for the people and the connections in whatever form they are,
I think is what I hope people walk away with.
What,
what are you excited about for this summer?
Christina Donovan: Hmm. I mean, I have kind of a different summer this year. Very quiet.
I'm not traveling at all, which is actually a nice change.
I'm excited to just be home and I'm excited to have my youngest here for the summer,
which he's away at school at college during the year, but he's home this summer,
which is nice.
And yeah, I mean, I did an experiment this year with a gardening plot at.
I guess it's a community type garden, which,
yeah, I'm excited about. It's something that is definitely both time consuming and the physical nature of being there and thinking about it. So, yeah,
that's kind of it. And I have a lot of reading material this year, this summer, which I'm looking forward to.
So.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
Christina Donovan: And hopefully seeing some family that are mostly coming to Tara's. But I get the side benefit of living close, so I get to see them too. So. So yeah.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
Christina Donovan: How about you?
Tara Bansal: Yeah, I mean, I'm like you. We don't have any trips planned, which is unusual for us. I don't know if we may go, go to Pittsburgh or do some small trip for family,
but we hope to spend a good amount of time at the beach in Manasquan and have I think two or three of the siblings and their families coming in. And that's where Tina was saying spending some time with each of them and all together.
I do love the beach and I'm a little nervous just of like hosting people and hoping everything goes okay,
but it will.
Yeah,
my boys were very front loaded in like camps more in July and then August is pretty wide open and we have Cindy coming in August out to the beach, so that also will be nice.
But then even In August, hockey starts for Nathan,
and I feel like I know the summer's gonna fly by all too quickly,
but,
yeah,
like you, I'm looking forward to just,
I don't know, relaxing a little more, hopefully not working quite as much and going back and forth to the beach and hopefully enjoying a lot of reading, a lot of relaxing and walking,
because that's what I like.
Christina Donovan: Yeah, that sounds nice.
Tara Bansal: Yeah. Do you have any thoughts for next season?
Christina Donovan: I actually don't,
and that's okay.
I think, too, like, I'm one of those people, I have to finish one thing before I start the next.
So. Yeah. And definitely I will be thinking about it over the summer.
That will always be something that's kind of in the back of my mind. I don't know. Do you have any thoughts for season four? At this point,
the only.
Tara Bansal: I just read a book called Big Time,
and a big part of it is noticing and creating in your schedule things you look forward to.
And for me, this relates to connections, but of really trying to each week have something like, I feel like I'm pretty ha. I'm very happy with my life. And yet when I thought of, like, what do I actually look forward to,
it wasn't as many things as I thought.
Christina Donovan: And although, I don't know, I've been a mantra. It's been a mantra of mine since I was young, and I've really.
I say to my children all the time,
no matter what else you have today,
you should have one thing that you look forward to and to make sure that there's something that brings you happiness or joy. It doesn't have to be big, but. Yeah, that's a big mantra of mine and has been for a long, long time,
and I love that.
Tara Bansal: And it can, to your point, like, it can just be like, eating dessert or.
Christina Donovan: Yeah. Or that's what I almost said.
Tara Bansal: Like, this piece of chocolate that you know, you're gonna.
Or something that.
With my coach, I was just talking about, like, sensory things,
so, like, smells and just becoming more aware of the little things. I feel like that bring you joy and that you can look forward to.
So,
yeah, I don't. I don't have any themes yet, but for me,
that's just something right now that is coming to mind as something,
you know.
But as I said, we have a few different types of episodes that we
Christina Donovan: want to do that we didn't get to this season. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: So like, one on the Empty, Empty Nest or Open Door. And even we want to do one with our husbands, Matt and Yes.
Christina Donovan: And men. Men's friendships. Yeah. Yeah. And I assume that we'll continue. We'll have a theme again because that has worked well for the past two seasons, right?
Tara Bansal: Mm. Yeah. And like you said, it's not every single episode is directly related to that, but just an overarching theme.
So if you're a listener and you have a theme that you would like to suggest,
please reach out and let us know.
But we wish you a wonderful summer and enjoy the sunshine and hopefully some quality time with the people that you love.
And we'll be back in the fall.
Christina Donovan: Happy summer.
Tara Bansal: Our final connection challenge isn't one we've chosen for you. It's one we would like you to choose for yourself.
Think back over this season.
What conversations have stayed with you?
Which connection challenge spoke to you?
Which of your relationships need a little more attention?
Or are there some that you would just like to give more attention to?
Choose one intention for your summer. You can keep it simple.
Maybe you'll reach out to one friend each week.
Maybe you'll host a gathering.
Maybe you'll reconnect with your creativity.
Maybe you'll simply put your phone away more often when you're with the people you love.
Whatever you choose,
I challenge you to just make it intentional.
We'd love to hear what you decide.
We hope you have a wonderful summer with lots of connection.
And thank you so much for being part of this community.
We so appreciate you being here and listening to Messy Middlescence. We'd love to hear from you,
your feedback,
ideas,
or even topics you'd like us to explore.
You can reach us at our website,
and don't forget to subscribe or leave a review to help us grow this wonderful community.
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Our final connection challenge isn't one we've chosen for you. It's one we would like you to choose for yourself.
Think back over this season.
What conversations have stayed with you?
Which connection challenge spoke to you?
Which of your relationships need a little more attention?
Or are there some that you would just like to give more attention to?
Choose one intention for your summer. You can keep it simple.
Maybe you'll reach out to one friend each week.
Maybe you'll host a gathering.
Maybe you'll reconnect with your creativity.
Maybe you'll simply put your phone away more often when you're with the people you love.
Whatever you choose,
I challenge you to just make it intentional.
We'd love to hear what you decide.
We hope you have a wonderful summer with lots of connection.
And thank you so much for being part of this community.