59. Shareapy: Real Conversations and Connection
“Where do you process life?”
Our season-long theme of “connection” couldn't be more timely. In September of 2025, the Surgeon General declared loneliness and isolation a national epidemic as many people struggle to maintain meaningful social ties. Remote work, social media, and increasing polarization have all contributed to rising loneliness and its impact on both our physical and emotional well-being.
For our final interview of the season, we welcome Scott Kelsey and Christine Passo from Shareapy, a platform that blends modern technology with the timeless practice of honest conversation. Through facilitated virtual gatherings, Shareapy creates a space where people can share openly, listen deeply, and build meaningful connection. It is not a substitute for social interaction or clinical therapy. Instead, it offers another way to strengthen our capacity for conversation—and, in doing so, deepen our connection with ourselves and others.
Rather than offering advice or trying to solve problems, Shareapy creates a welcoming community where people can be honest without pressure to put on a positive face, explain themselves, or immediately find solutions. Its focus on sharing, listening, and thoughtful conversation helps counter the isolation many of us experience in daily life.
In this conversation, we discuss:
Scott and Christine's personal journeys and how those experiences shaped the creation and growth of Shareapy;
Why so many people feel pressured to say they are "okay" when they are not;
How Shareapy creates space for honest conversation and meaningful connection;
Why Shareapy resonates so deeply with many people in midlife, especially Generation X;
What Shareapy is—and what it is not designed to provide.
If you've ever wished for a place where you could simply be yourself, be heard, and know you're not alone, we think you'll find this conversation both encouraging and inspiring.
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Christina Donovan: Welcome to Messy Middle Essence.
This is a podcast where we talk honestly about the changes to challenges, connections, and gifts that come with midlife.
Nothing too polished, just real conversations that remind us we're not alone.
So let's dive in.
Tara Bansal: Welcome.
This is Tara Conti Bansal, and I am here with my sister, Christina Conti Donovan.
And we are thrilled to have Scott, Kelsey and Christine Paso today.
When Tina and I decided on our theme for this season around connection,
I immediately thought of Shareapy.
And we are lucky enough to have Scott and Christine here today to talk about connection and Shareapy.
Both of them, I would say, are in messy middlescence.
Scott, you're on the younger side, so maybe you don't consider yourself there, but I.
I got to meet Scott through my husband, Nimit. They had mutual friends and Scott lived in Princeton.
It was a group of people that knew each other.
Nimitz started at JJ with one of Scott's very good friends, Matt Henderson.
And so just through that,
we got to know Scott. He was our mortgage broker for a while. He's now moved on from that. But we are super excited to have both of you here, so welcome.
Christine Passo: Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here.
Tara Bansal: We always start with,
tell us your story.
And I know,
I know Scott's story, but, Christine, I do not know your story.
So if you're okay, I'd love to have you go first and just share with the listeners about yourself and kind of how you got where you are today.
Christine Passo: Wow. You know, that is such a loaded question.
And I know we only have a certain amount of times. I'm going to try to be. I'm going to wrap it up as nicely and detailed as possible.
To start with, I want to share how I met Scott, and then I'm going to turn back the clock a little bit.
Um, I met Scott after searching for organizations that didn't just say they supported mental health or behavioral health or, you know, true communication and connection.
I wanted it to be real. I wanted not to find these organizations that talk about it during Mental Health Awareness Recognition Month. Right.
And I wanted to find a community I could share honestly with. Not where I was networking,
not where I would say, I'm having a hard day,
but I'm okay now. Right? The kind of pasting, the positive platitude on top of real life.
And I found Shareapy and asked Scott for a call,
told him how much I loved the concept of Shareapy. I was really in desperate need of having this type of community.
And so that's how I learned about Scott. And before I get into details about that,
I want to rewind, rewind the clock to say that my story,
you know, like so many others, has so many peaks and valleys.
And sometimes in my mind, it's more valleys than peaks.
And of course, the heavy tends to feel like it weighs more when really it doesn't. But just heavy is a lot to carry.
And so I have felt that way a lot of my life. Struggled on and off with depression.
Also excelling in my career. I was in a 15 to 20 year successful sales and marketing career.
I worked with one local company for 12 years, doing very well.
You know, according to. If you looked at the box,
everything was checked off, right? Like home, relationship,
car trips,
living the dream.
But it's a facade, right? It's that mask that we wear.
And along the way I decided I needed. I needed to make a change. Otherwise the person that I was was going to continue shriveling up into just misery.
And so I did. I changed my career. I left sales and marketing realizing I really never liked it anyway.
And I studied to become a life coach. I was a. I studied to become a life purpose coach and a transformation coach. Also got trained in cbt cognitive therapy for.
From a coaching perspective. And it would just was wonderful until it wasn't.
Honestly, the last two years, I'm actually this. This May is an anniversary for just a really difficult two years that I experienced in my life.
I know this is not in on video, but we are in recording this. And one of the dogs that's behind me here passed away unexpectedly in my arms. And it absolutely was traumatic and devastating and most definitely the most difficult grief I've ever gone through in my life.
Incredibly traumatic. And that was really kind of,
I hate to say the catalyst because that isn't to blame for other things,
but it just seemed that grief found me in so many other ways. Over the next two years, my coaching business did not thrive enough for me to financially live off of.
So I needed to accept that that wasn't working and ended up in deep depression last year. And that was what led me to Shareapy. And so what is so important to me and what I talk about in my life is communication and connection and truth, right?
Truth in the words that we speak. And not pretending that although it's rough that it's okay. I mean, it's okay that it's rough, but I'm not here to say but I'm fine.
It's okay. Tomorrow's a New day.
So that's my message really is it's okay to be real and even if it means that that times are hard. So Cherapi has changed my life, it has changed my career,
and luckily I gained a friend in Mr. Scott Kelsey, which has just been amazing.
So that's my story.
Tara Bansal: I love it. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.
I'd love to hear a little more like, where did you grow up? Did you have siblings?
What did you love to do?
Christine Passo: Sure, sure. So I grew up in Potomac, Maryland,
and I have an older sister and a younger brother.
My parents divorced when I was in fourth grade and my father moved off to the Pennsylvania, New Jersey area.
That was really difficult for me. I loved my father. We were very close.
I was extremely involved in sports. I was very athletic. I played basketball, softball, soccer.
Back then it was called select soccer. Now I think it's called traveling. I don't even know what it's called now,
but I played in the Generation with Mia Hamm, which is really cool. And I'm convinced that I,
you know, because she grew up in Northern Virginia, I think Fairfax, Virginia, I am more than convinced that I played against her in our tournaments. But it's. It's something I tell myself, right?
It's. It's fun. But was certainly playing on her level at that time. And it was awesome. It was awesome.
You know, there's something about that athletic mind that never leaves us.
It's that team player mentality of let's come together, let's build together, we're at our strongest together.
And that's basically how I've lived my life.
As I've grown up.
I have noticed that there are a lot of generational patterns in my family that I don't want to follow and don't suit me.
Just because they suited the family maybe,
you know, a hundred years ago, doesn't mean that it still does today.
So I'm a bit of a generational,
you know, pattern breaker.
So there's been a bit of stir up in my family due to that. But I have to live my life according to what feels right for me,
and that's what I've done. I currently live in Norfolk, Virginia.
I am married. I've lived here for over 20 years. It's really crazy when we get to that age that we say that we've lived somewhere for 20, 25 years and we think it's been 10.
Oh my gosh. You know,
as a gen Xer, I'm 55 years old. I'm actually the same age as Scott. I'm a little older than.
But, you know, I crave that natural formation of just being together. Right. Like we had.
We had street parties and empty parking lots when I was growing up. So sheripe kind of reminds me of that because you just talk about what's real and you just show up.
So that's a little bit more about me. Oh, and I have two shelties that I'm madly in love with.
Tara Bansal: Wow. What are their names?
Christine Passo: Zoe. She'll be 13 in two months. And Emma is our kind of puppy. She'll be 18 months next month.
Scott Kelsey: Wonderful.
Christine Passo: Yes.
Tara Bansal: Thank you.
You're welcome. And we are. I mean,
I just turned 56 and Tina is 58, so we're all the same age. And now that I think about it, Scott, I knew you were the same age as me because
Christine Passo: you knew he was.
Tara Bansal: But you have young kids. You're like me. So I think that was part of why I was mistaken.
Scott Kelsey: But yeah, I wasn't going to correct you.
Tara Bansal: You don't have the gray hair that Tina and I did, so. But Scott, let's hear your story.
Scott Kelsey: Oh, that's it. Well, first,
thank you for the opportunity and thanks for the intro and.
And I'll get to my story hopefully quicker than latter. But yeah,
I'm just so honored to be on here and have Christine and meet Tina.
You know, our relationship, like you said, goes back decades.
Right.
And the best part about it is while I haven't seen Matt in a few weeks and I haven't seen Nimit at the rink, you know, usually where we cross over,
you know, I know it.
When we do cross path, it's always a. You know, that's my.
Those are my people.
So.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
Scott Kelsey: And that whole group of people is. Is awesome. I love seeing them all the time when I see them. But my story. Yeah. So I'll go through the. Grew up in central New York, Right.
A small little town,
Clinton, New York.
It's kind of nestled in between Albany and Syracuse.
Christina Donovan: Home of Hamilton College.
Scott Kelsey: Home of Hamilton College. Yeah.
Christina Donovan: Yes.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah. Thanks for giving them some props without even knowing again. I'll give them some more. Yeah. So I, I wasn't. My dad didn't go to. He went to community college. My mom was a nurse.
My brother,
I have a. My brother's 18 months older. My sister's basically two years younger.
All played sports, you know, multiple sports. My sister danced, figure skated, which is a sport.
But you know, really, if I, if I encapsulate childhood, it was a Little bit of it was chaotic, but in a loving, caring way. Right. Like parents working one job, two jobs.
You know, I don't know how they got us around to all they did, but they did. Right. Because they knew it was, you know, part of, you know, our story, so to speak.
Nothing forced. Right. They just, we just enjoyed playing and they supported it. I don't know how, but they did. Right.
And then, you know, went to high school.
Three sport athlete.
And then the college, you know,
decision.
You know, I,
I was the first grandchild of my. I was the first grandchild that actually graduated from college.
My brother went to college before me,
but played hockey. And then things didn't work out so well after the first year and he took a pivot, and that pivot brought him into the Special Forces in the military,
where he, he. Within that stint outside of,
you know, being deployed, he actually went back to school, actually played hockey. He was like the older guy on the team,
you know, graduated. But it still gives me that, you know,
credential of first person.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
And I have to say, just jumping in,
Christine, Even doing sports, all of us here,
we're very sport oriented.
It brings up the team, but I also think it brings out the competitiveness in many of us to, like, drive ourselves and push ourselves in different ways.
So that. Sorry to interrupt, but.
And what were the three sports you did, Scott?
Scott Kelsey: So I played baseball, football and hockey.
Tara Bansal: Okay.
Scott Kelsey: Right.
A little asterisk. Like, I, I didn't play football my senior year. I had an injury that spring in hockey,
and I could have played,
you know, and I liked the sport and being around the team and everything, but,
you know, it just wasn't worth the risk at the time, you know, so I could focus more on hockey and baseball. And I was probably a better baseball player than a hockey player.
So I ended up. I ended up.
I ended up going like 4.29 miles away from my, my house to Hamilton College.
Christina Donovan: Wow.
Scott Kelsey: You know, it, it was. All I remember was like, I don't know, this college thing. Like, I, you know, people were talking to me and recruiting me both for baseball and hockey.
And I knew Hamilton.
Christina Donovan: Right.
Scott Kelsey: I grew up in the rank there and I played there and I knew how, how good of a college it was. Right. And I was fortunate and blessed to be able to have choices.
Right.
You know, so.
Yeah. And so got through college,
you know, and I'll say got through. And you can,
you know,
think whatever you think about what got through means, but I was fortunate enough to have a good career there. I dropped baseball after my freshman year to focus on my studies for those of that can't see.
And I'm putting a little.
But then, you know, when it came time to senior year and grew, that's where I met Matt and other people from this area.
You know, when it came time to kind of go into the next phase like and all my friends were putting on suits and going into wherever they went to, to interview with Goldman and Bear and everything,
I had already had signed a contract to play professionally in Europe and I was like, yeah, I got, I got this thing figured out.
And while Europe didn't happen, I did end up playing professionally for six seasons before, you know, deciding it was time to kind of move somewhere and, and that somewhere ended up being Princeton, New Jersey.
I was given a job. I did an interview for the job. It was through another Hamilton connection who's from the area. And he said, hey, while you're looking, you know, why don't you come work with us for a little bit.
Did not really like that job.
You know, it is a job that I did well in and I spent 25 years in.
Right.
And,
and met an incredible amount of people,
you know, very grateful for that opportunity.
But you know,
a little bit of that transition was coming to a place I really didn't know anybody really,
you know, to trying to sell something. I really had no idea who to sell to, how to sell to, but just given that, you know, sheet,
sheets of paper to call people.
So I struggled a little bit.
And then fortunately there is a professional team that came in the town that next year and they asked me to play for them.
So it kept me here and I don't know if that team hadn't come into town whether I'd still be here in this area. Right. I might, who knows where I'd be but fortunate in that.
So yeah, so it's been, you know,
Princeton, New Jersey, you know, lived downtown probably, you know,
less than a mile away from Tara and Nimit,
you know, and you know, spent the last 28 years building relationships here,
you know, that have helped me tremendously and the corporate world,
some long time friendships,
you know, built. And what I love Christine's story about how she met me. Right.
You know, she,
she realized that she needed something and was looking for it and so grateful and happy and that she saw Shareapy, right. You know, and reached out and we had the conversation.
So she's a,
not only a, a member, that's like the lowest part. She's a dear friend,
she's Helped us make incredible advances in terms of what we're doing.
And she,
she hasn't sent me a bill yet,
but she's like my coach.
Right.
Um, yeah. So,
yeah, I didn't,
you know, I didn't stumble into and I'll try to keep the short. I didn't try, I didn't stumble into and do research on what's the next biggest thing out there.
Right.
You know what happened and what happened was I had a,
I had a fall on our stairs, you know, basin stairs when we were in Princeton and I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. And that kind of was the moment where,
you know, I realized that I needed to like things were getting overwhelming, right. With work, with having a three year old, with having our son was. My wife was pregnant with our now 7 year old son and I, I just,
life was getting too hectic and I wasn't managing it in the proper way. So I'm, you know, I was giving like a, you know, short and simple. I was given a strategy and as being an athlete, like if you tell me to do something for the most part and there's a goal behind it or,
you know, then I'll do it right if I know it's going to be help me. And I was given a strategy from the neurologist. I saw a therapist for the first time,
even having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression like 25 years earlier in the middle of my playing career.
And I just realized, you know, how fortunate I was to build good relationships and have good relationships.
And I started doing some outreach to peer support groups and trying to get more involved outside of just donating to mental health organizations like getting involved in sharing my story and fortunately had friends in this area that had suffered a traumatic brain injury that I didn't know that took their time to sit and talk with me about it.
And it just realized how comforting and how healing it was for me. And it was, it's been part of my journey. And you know, I said, I know people go through a lot of things and you know, life comes out as fast and.
But where do they process it, right? Just where do you process life?
And I was fortunate,
although on the heels of a near death traumatic brain injury,
to have the ability to plug into these places and understand kind of what worked for me and that's kind of what inspired Shareapy.
Tara Bansal: And so you started Shareapy when. And tell everyone what is Shareapy. We'll include links, but just for our listeners.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, so I.
Concepts on paper in mind in Text to my wife,
you know, whatever I could, you know, vision boards, whatever. Was like seven and a half years ago,
right. You know, maybe set it.
Probably about a year after that,
after too many texts or voice texting, my wife,
a lot of notepads,
I started talking to some good friends that understood it. And that's where we, you know, formed the entity. Right.
Started to have get togethers, we like to call them get togethers instead of meetings.
There's a lot behind that. But started to have them. Good success with that and still two young kids,
a lot of responsibility in the mortgage space.
Really kept things humming and knew there was something to it, but really never brought on a team and to really build it out.
And that really started about three years ago to say, hey, there's something to it. We incorporated so we could raise money to fuel this engine and really jump platforms, built new website, all this sort of stuff that goes in.
And we've had a lot of great learning over the last handful of years by doing that.
And yeah, and we continue to grow and having opportunities like this to share our story is incredible. So thank you both.
And what we're essentially doing and we've kind of,
you know, in our head and Christine and I talk about this a lot is like, is it. It's a, it's a word that didn't exist before I kind of created it.
Right. So.
And yeah, direct implication is oh, it's therapy,
which.
But we're not, we're non clinical facilitated spaces where people can gather and connect and connect and build connection, which we know is very important to being a human being and learn from others, but really a place to, you know, share their story if they choose.
But I'm looking at my computer and I put that in the back visual.
It's a pretty cool font. Everyone has a story,
right?
So we provide that space.
And I think, you know,
not that it took us three years to figure this out because, you know, as a startup and as a growing entity,
you learn from things, but the simple foundation of it is just.
And it's not simple, but it's conversation.
Right. Which we, we know is lacking.
You know, people that understand it, by whatever generation that is, we're used to it, it's fallen off sometimes it's shallow, it's, you know, quick, hey, how you doing?
People who get it might not have time or even know of places like Shareapy where they can get more of it.
So we're providing a safe, facilitated virtual platform where people can simply engage in conversation and if it works for them, they can connect with others, they can learn more about themselves,
and they can essentially grow in their wellness, whatever that means to them.
And I'm glad to.
I'm glad to hand Christine the mic.
You know, she might bullet point a little bit better.
It's hard sometimes for me as the founder to feel like this can't be infomercial this. You know,
I mean, I teared up a little bit almost,
but I had to catch myself.
Christine Passo: No, you don't. In Shareapy, Scott, you don't have to catch yourself.
Scott Kelsey: Remember? Yeah. Thanks, coach.
Christine Passo: You know what, What I think, and we've really learned this, that, you know, we're so accustomed to Zoom meetings, workshops, master classes, right? Where you go into this group on Zoom or whatever the studio is,
and there's 20, 50,
who knows how many other people, right? And then based on what that event is, it's like, oh, well, this is the subject of conversation.
Let's,
you know, set everybody up in breakout rooms. So you have four minutes to talk, you know, four or five of you in detail about this, and then you come back and you share with the 25 to 50 hundred other people or however it's structured.
Shareapy is not like that. We. We don't ask for business cards. Our get togethers are limited.
We like to keep them at 10 people or less because we want people to feel heard and seen.
And when you.
I know for me, when I enter one of these rooms and there's. I mean, if I have to scroll over to another screen to see people, it's too many people for me,
and that's because I want real conversation. So the people that love sharing and that we are attracting to Shareapy and that are attracted to Shareapy, they want real, intimate conversations.
You know, they want to be able to know that they can hit the raise hand,
you know, function within Zoom, or they can just come off of mute. And as a facilitator, I know they're ready to talk instead of scroll through and scroll through. It's intimate.
It's real.
Friendships develop because it's a space of no judgment. We don't fix. We're not there to make suggestions. We're there to listen and share. And honestly, when. When I went to the first get together,
I was really hesitant because I've never been a group sharer in that respect. Right. I mean, I guess I kind of gave it away already when I said, hey, if I come into a virtual room and I have to scroll over, it's like, ah, you know, this is.
This is weird. This is uncomfortable. I don't feel like I can trust the space,
but it's so different. And. And when I went into the space at Shareapy, even though I was hesitant, I couldn't believe how great I felt after an hour. And I couldn't believe how easily I felt like I could trust complete strangers because they weren't strangers.
We were all there sharing honestly and not hoping for anybody to say anything to fix us. It was just,
wow, that. Yeah, that must be tough. Like, tell me more or I've been through something similar.
So again, that's how we grew up and that's why it feels so familiar and why it feels so safe.
Tara Bansal: And so I did Shareapy for more than a year and loved it.
And I feel like there is this depth for. It's not just surface level talking. It is like being real, being vulnerable.
I feel like there's just this openness and lack of judgment that allows people to,
as you use the word, truth, like, speak their truth of where they are.
And yeah, you definitely create these connections that are strong and deep and have. Create meaning for those that are there.
Christine Passo: Absolutely.
Christina Donovan: I love the idea that there's no baggage, you know, when you're talking to other people. There's no need to impress or. I don't know. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: There's no second agenda. Like, there's no, you know.
Christina Donovan: Right. You're not worried about what the other people are thinking about where. I think when. A lot of times when you talk to people either in your family or in your social circles.
Yeah. Like there's. There's things that you're conscious of and careful of. I think it's just a natural thing sometimes, you know,
it.
Christine Passo: It is. And I think a lot of times, too, we feel like we have to prove why we feel the way that we do.
I think,
you know, it's just something maybe we've grown up with or society teaches it to us. It's like, I'm having a hard day. Well, why are you having a hard day?
You just got a new car last week.
And isn't everything going great with your family?
It's like, you know, we're constantly questioned in real life about why we feel the way that we do because of this image that is portrayed on social media.
And that's what's so great about Shareapy is there's no proof. You know, we say all the time, come as you are, and we mean it sometimes. I'm facilitating with the night shirt.
I wore that. I slept in, in a baseball cap.
And that creates an instant sense of acceptance. And that really is what it is. It's so. It is truly for the people that feel like they don't have anybody to talk to and want to talk about what's real.
And so it's,
it's just so beautiful. Like, all I can say is just go once and you say, wow, this is what's been missing in my life and I didn't know it.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, I. Tina.
Tara Bansal: Oh, I was just going to ask,
Christina Donovan: I mean, are there. I've been on the website and I've looked at some of the information, but are there ground rules that you give people to start or is it just this organically understanding and compassionate group that develops?
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, no, it's a great question. The.
No, there, there are. Right, because that's, that's a huge part of creating that space or container, right.
Where people feel safe, whether it's on their first, you know, get together or later on as they plug in. Right.
But yeah, we, you know, our, our,
our get togethers, you know, are we, we have a script, right, with the facilitators go off of. Which sets that space, right. Which sets that kind of. Hey,
remember, we want to stay here, we want to keep things here. So yeah, we make sure to remind people,
you know, that yeah, there are quote, unquote boundaries, right. But we also make sure that if something comes up, there's a way for somebody to connect with the facilitator afterwards.
Like whether it's something's triggered or even it's like, hey, I didn't think of that. I loved it. Or whether it's just like, hey, I want to give Christine a heads up or a high five for her awesome facilitation.
Right. But yeah, we want, we need to set those, you know, and subtly, politely, but professionally remind them, right.
You know, that here's what we're about. That's not what we're not about. Right.
Especially when it comes into any of that clinical stuff. Like we're not,
we're non clinical if as we grow and just like, you know, and there's a need for that, you know, I'm sure we'll form a partnership or two with people we can,
you know, direct people to because we don't want people kind of on that, you know, cliff hanging out there without a,
A resource, whatever that resource might be. So,
yeah,
yeah, I wanted to point out that.
And Tara, thank you. You are a card carrying member of Shareapy and I'LL tell you the power of it, because I couldn't tell you the last date, and I, you know, but there, you know, as.
As people haven't engaged and they come back like, oh, my goodness. I, you know, something happened and I couldn't. My schedule, whatever.
There. There were a handful of people that are, like, worse than Terravan. Like, you know,
and I.
We can prompt. You're on our list. Right. You get the reminders or people do.
Like, I don't.
It's our responsibility to provide people with the experience. Right. However we can get them there. Right.
You know, if they listen to this and they want to go on and sign up, that'd be awesome.
Other ways, right?
It's. It's our responsibility to inform them of changes, additions. Hey, we're doing this, not inundate them. It's not what we want to do. We are,
but it's.
I.
I don't need to, like, drive into Princeton and say, tara, turn your laptop on. Right?
If people benefit from it and they want to come back, they'll be there. Yeah, yeah. And it's truly. Yeah, they'll show up. So it's there, right? It's there for whether there's three people on a Zoom or 10 people.
If somebody hasn't come in two weeks from now,
you know, or for months, they know they can, you know,
hit their little app and jump on the platform and see what's going on and join. So.
Christina Donovan: Yeah.
Scott Kelsey: But, yeah, there it's. Yeah. I was. I was pushed strongly to be like, well, you need to get Tara back on.
Christina Donovan: You need.
Scott Kelsey: I'm like, tara knows we're here now. She gets the reminders, much thanks to Christine.
She gets the updates,
additional things we're offering times, dates.
You know,
she just needs to know that we're still here for her. Right.
Tara Bansal: I have to say, the quality of the people I felt like is. I don't know.
Christina Donovan: I.
Tara Bansal: That's something that stood out to me, and I don't know how or why, but it.
That's what I loved,
was that these were people who were caring and smart and curious and wanted to keep learning and growing and admitting we all struggle and there's. Life can be hard.
And so that was one of the things that stood out to me that I love about Shareapy.
Scott Kelsey: Thank you.
Christine Passo: You know,
something that.
That's what I love, too, also. I mean, that's.
We're craving that, right? Aren't we, Tara? I mean, we're craving it,
but we think we want to isolate, so we're in this really interesting time and have been for a few years. But 2026 is,
is really shining a spotlight on it.
But what I really want to talk about is that there is so much focus,
concentration,
conversation, marketing, advertising for when we're in crisis.
Right. When you're in crisis,
connect to this app and we'll get you connected with the therapist immediately. Well, what about before?
There's not as much action or opportunity for before. Yes, There are a lot of apps that say, hey, let's keep track of your behavior. You know, keep track, you know, sign in every day, let us know what you're eating, how are you feeling,
these kinds of things.
But it's not communicating with other people.
It's not getting things off our chest. It's not sharing things we can stay curious about or grow from. Just like you said that that's what you were so impressed with, that it attracted quality people who wanted quality conversation.
And it's the before crisis.
It's when we are questioning in our lives. I feel like something's missing. I just got home from dinner with a bunch of friends and.
But I feel like I wasn't able to talk about what I wanted to talk about.
And I'm interested in yoga or I'm interested in all these things and these friends don't want to do it. Well, that's what this space is about.
It's. Yes, we're here to support people when they want to talk about the tough times. Right? I mean, absolutely. But we're also there to celebrate with you when maybe other people in your life aren't recognizing what you're saying.
Celebrating,
you know, because we don't have to prove anything in Cherie. Nobody has to do that. They just get to come and be seen and heard in a way that they feel absent at work, in their family, or in their personal relationships.
And so it is those many steps before crisis that we actually are benefiting the most. We just don't know it.
Tara Bansal: And I,
every time I read,
like, I think for a while, Scott, I was sending you things, like I would hear a podcast and I'd be like, cherie needs to use this,
reinforce the need that is there. Because I just, I feel like I read a lot of self help books and all the podcasts I listened to just completely reinforce that the,
you know, just talking things through and having that connection and space,
what a difference it can make. And like you're saying, Christine, almost proactively beforehand helps, but nobody really gives that credit because I don't know, like, Brene Brown, you know, she's like, I go to a therapist and I have a coach to help me not have as many crises,
you know, where you need one and to try to be healthier ahead of time to handle the things that life throws your way.
Scott Kelsey: So yeah, and yeah, 100% like, you know, I think it's, it's like,
you know, coined in this, in this space, right. Which is much needed as being upstream, right.
You know, being proactive versus reactive.
Quick origin story on the name because it just popped in, right?
Tara Bansal: Like it's a word you made up, right?
Scott Kelsey: Word. Yeah. And it wasn't AI existed eight years ago, seven years ago in some means. It wasn't AI driven. It was essentially SI driven, which I will coined. It might be situational intelligence.
Right.
You know, I had been in enough situations where,
you know, I was like, there's something to sharing like with somebody that I,
I know is probably listening to me. Not just hearing me, but listening to me,
right?
Not trying to fix me,
just saying, hey, I've been there.
And you know,
here's what helped me. Not like you should do this, right? We all, we. There's a lot of caring, loving people out there that want to help.
Friends, family, others.
Sometimes I believe it gets us confused, right?
So I was like, there's something in terms of sharing what I've gone through, my mental health struggles, my traumatic brain injury, my transition to work, this, that,
that I was like sharing, you know, this, that was sharing.
And one night I popped up like at three in the morning and I'm like, I, I think I got it, I think I got it.
And I. First thing, power of advertising. I went on GoDaddy and I googled it and it wasn't taken. And I don't know what it cost me seven years ago, 50, 60 bucks.
And I bought it right after the fact.
Like you talk about validation in terms of what you're doing, our current members who are seeing benefit while there's not 500,000 million of them yet,
that's validation. But validation, if you, anybody out there listening to this and go on.
And the validation has been in research and studies, just Google the therapeutic benefits of shared lived experience.
Therapeutic benefits of shared lived experience.
So somehow at night that just popped in my head and I combined those two things and the website wasn't taken or I didn't have to buy it from anybody, didn't have a logo created and that somehow.
But it's there, right? The research has been there, it's done in other peer support Groups. It's done,
you know, in other ways. People have experienced SharePoint in one way, or I believe one way is shape or form of the lives where they know they can get together with people, maybe people that know people,
with other people that are friends of people and say,
and open up a little bit and lighten their load for that day. Right. Whether it's on the golf course, in a book club,
you know, knitting club, whether it's at your, you know, you know, coffee shop, stuff like that. So people have experienced it. We've just put a name to it
Tara Bansal: and,
I don't know, like,
created a structure that facilitates it and,
and part of, like Tina said, like,
in an objective way like that people don't have to filter what they say or worry about.
I'm gonna offend my mom or my sister by talking about this here.
It, it just creates that space.
Christina Donovan: So.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah. And great. Yeah, I love that,
that point, Kara, is even like,
with family, let's just say, right? If you're going through something,
you know, a lot of times your family's going through stuff, right.
I think that psychologically we're like,
if I share it, I'm just putting more weight on my parents play. I don't want to do that to my parents. Right.
So then what? I don't want to, you know, and I don't think it's a, I don't think all the time it's like an embarrassment thing to admit that you need help in whatever shape, form that is personally, professionally.
But I think there's, there's a lack of awareness that there are places like Shareapy out there that,
that you can go to and not feel like you're just dumping stuff on somebody. Right.
And just, you know, there are psychological benefits of just getting it out anyhow. Right.
Christina Donovan: So, yeah,
I would imagine, too, there are tremendous benefits to, to listening to other people's stories,
to getting that sense that, you know, you're not the only one struggling or,
you know, grappling with these things.
Tara Bansal: I mean, that's part of why we started this podcast was,
you know,
many of us are struggling in midlife with the big changes and wanting to have that community,
you know, that you're not alone and learn from each other, which is, I feel like also what Shareapy is all about.
Christine Passo: Yeah, it is. And I, I, I,
sorry, Scott,
I'll say this real quick, that I think that, so we're all part of Generation X. Like, this is who we are. And as I mentioned, it's how we grew up.
So when technology came into play and advanced and continues to advance,
it's like our nervous system, it can't identify with it. We might text and go, oh, I'm so glad Cheryl just texted me. I hadn't heard from her in a while.
And we feel something,
we feel something, but then it doesn't go anywhere, right? Like there's no depth. And most of us don't turn that into a phone call.
And so for our generation in particular, because really, the audience that we see that sign up and continue returning are between the age of 40 and 60.
And I do feel it has so much to do with how we grew up,
how we knew how to find comfort. And really,
you know, we were latchkey kids too.
So we knew how to found how to find dependence and help and support from our peers rather than our parents. Because our parents were working.
You know, we needed to, to, to deal with what we needed to deal with. And we used our friends for a lot of it. I mean, I'm still friends with so many of the people I went to elementary school with,
junior high, I know it's called middle school now, but back then it was junior high and high school.
And some of the best support I get in my life is from those people, not from people I've met later in life.
But,
you know, I just wanted to mention that. But I wanted to share a topic.
So each,
most of the get togethers that we have,
you don't know what we're going to talk about. The facilitator comes with a topic of conversation to help us stay curious, to open our minds, and then to realize how much maybe that has been on our mind and we didn't realize it or to realize that it's been a source of stress.
And we didn't realize it because nobody's posing the topic.
So we talked about our bucket list the other day.
The conversation was,
what's on your bucket list? Most of us have lists, right, that have, oh, I want to go to Italy, I want to go to Wimbledon. I really want a new house with a master bedroom that has exactly what I want.
I want this car. I've been working so hard because I so badly want a Porsche. It's like we seek things that make us feel like we've made it.
Like we have learned to take the word success and apply it to things that money can buy.
Even the experiences. It's what money can buy.
Well,
what happens when we really. Well, let's say when we're really having a tough time.
What Is it that we're thinking about that will soothe us that we need?
It's peace,
it's love,
it's, it's comfort among the, the people that surround us. Right. And I'm like, we never put those things on our bucket list.
And you, I mean to see the expressions on the folks that were joining that day. They were like, oh my gosh,
you're so right. We have applied things maybe we could never obtain on a bucket list when really we want what matters most.
And so it was this really beautiful, rich, insightful conversation and awareness conversation. And those are some of the kind of things that we talk about or I know Scott,
one of his topics, he wanted to be, you know, what's your rabbit hole? And I was like, oh my gosh, that is so good.
That is so good. And so we bring up these, these opportunities for people to share what they didn't realize was on their mind and was bothering them. So just a little insight for our listeners who are like, what really do
Tara Bansal: they talk about and who comes up with the topic? Is that purely facilitator chosen and there's like a list of different ideas or how does that work?
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, it's facilitated. Chosen. You can explain it Christine, because she's kind of running that. Oh, you know, okay, yeah, that's fine.
Christine Passo: We do have a list of topics. If you know, for any reason we can't come up with one. But I would say I facilitate 85% of the get togethers that we have now.
We also have spotlights which are topic specific conversations.
For instance, next week we're holding navigating Challenging Family Relationships.
We also have one that's titled Caregiver, which by the way is for everybody in the world.
So you don't have to be caregiving for somebody else to attend these get togethers. But you know, we have a series of those also.
But for the listen, think, share, which really is the signature get together,
the facilitator,
me or Scott or whoever else might be facilitating brings a topic to talk about. And for me and Scott, I'd love to hear what you're, what, what your thought is.
But for me, I wait for something to inspire me.
So maybe it's something that happened in the yard when I was walking around with the dogs, or maybe I'm struggling with something or I read something. It's never difficult for me to come up with something.
So it's really about what we're all experiencing in current time.
Tara Bansal: Yeah. How about you, Scott?
Scott Kelsey: I know I'll add to that like, I get inspiration. I mean, some,
you know,
we haven't curated kind of, we, we have a list of topics, right,
that you can go to. And what we do is we, we,
we get feedback like from our get togethers, right, that we utilize. Say, hey, this is great on a Tuesday. Why wouldn't we share that conversation on your Thursday, right? So if it resonated for one, we'll, you know, use that kind of outline for another.
But I, I, I,
the, the what's your rabbit hole? Was literally pure inspiration. As I was sitting there going into two MRIs yesterday and I'm toggling between.
Do I go in early and fill out paperwork or do I do this? And I try not to spend personal time however you want to equate it on, on online, in terms of Instagram, all that sort of stuff.
And I found myself like,
oh my goodness, eight, eight minutes later.
And that's not a super long time in terms of the amount of times people spend going down these holes. But I found myself eight minutes later being like, oh my goodness, I gotta run in and get in this thing.
I'm like, I almost went down a big rabbit hole.
And I, I will, I, trust me, there's, there's,
especially on the social media part, there's, there's worse rabbit holes to be on.
I like somehow like, like police and fire stuff. I don't know, it's not anything too like, crazy, right?
But I just, in that minute, I'm like, I just almost went down a rabbit hole. I almost missed my MRI that I need to be in.
But I. Did you, I did generate the thought through like a little AI and it taught me something that there's, there's,
there's mental rabbit holes people have been out. Right. It's not just physically scanning this and that. There's other things like,
and I'm like, wow,
I want to create a topic on that.
Tara Bansal: Yeah, I'm sure the answers were very interesting.
Scott Kelsey: I would love to hear that.
Tara Bansal: We're almost out of time, which feels unbelievable to me. I guess I'm debating what question. What. How do you feel like Shareapy relates to midlife?
Christine Passo: Oh, you want me to take it? Okay, the mic is passed back to me. Thank you, Scott. Kelsey.
Absolutely. It does.
You know, because,
and actually as I mentioned, we have these spotlights and one of a spotlight that's up for discussion is women that go through menopause and everything that comes with that,
everything changes about our style of thinking. And there's not that many people talking about it. And so that would be an opportunity. Midlife, like me personally, where I'd left a career and decided to completely pivot and change my life.
That's happening to a lot of people in midlife and in our generation because most of us stayed the path.
We're like, well, we were told, just make sure you make a decent income.
You can pay your mortgage and maybe take a trip or two with your family and pay for your kids to go to college. We all stayed that path. Now we're like,
I hated that path.
I don't want to live the rest of my life like that anymore.
And so it absolutely is midlife, and it's, it's the opportunity to share what so many other people are going through when we feel like we're the only one.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, yeah, great point.
I, I mean,
midlife is a stage, right? It's a, you know, which is a transition.
We all, as human beings go through a lot of transition in our lives, right?
And that's, that's where I, I, I think we can be proactive on those transitions. Not like, oh, one day you're gonna go through midlife, right? And you might have, you know, the common midlife crisis.
Right.
And I, they're real, right? And I'm not saying some things you can't avoid. Things happen, right?
But I think the, that's where we focus a lot on,
on terms of,
you know, transitions. Right. Identifying that. And that's when people tend to kind of get a little caught in terms of, like, where do I go to, what do I do, how do I identify what I'm feeling, stuff like that.
So midlife is, is, is a major one, right? And there's a lot of things that go into that, and I would just say, like,
I don't know, like, some crisis you can't avoid. Like, things happen in our lives that we can't plan for.
Right.
So how best do you equip people should those happen? Right.
You know,
and I think that's by working on things that we work on with Cherry is just being open to honest with others and yourself and kind of getting that human factor back in you.
So if we can build that in terms of, build all these, you know, buzzwords, resilience, empathy,
you know,
within someone, and know that we have a community that is there for every stage of their life.
But, yeah, midlife for me,
yeah, I can see.
I mean, it relates to it a ton, and I've, I've thoroughly enjoyed making the time to listen to your podcast. Right.
You Know. Cause it's not a trade off for me. It's not like I. Instead of doing this, I can't do that and listen to Tarantino's podcast because I'd make the time.
Right. Because it's important. I've always felt like there was a lot of synergy in terms of, you know, who you have on this and what you're doing with messy metal lessons.
Sorry.
Christina Donovan: See.
Christine Passo: Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Dean, do you have a question?
Christina Donovan: Do you want. I mean, I went on the website and do you just want to spend a minute on how you.
How it actually works? I mean, I saw like there's a monthly charge for it. Um,
is that the typical.
You sign up for like a month at a time.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah. So there's a,
like.
Yeah, it's a. We're a subscription based service. Right. So membership.
Um,
so that's monthly. We do have.
There's a couple things that are,
that are on top of that. Like we do a three free 30 day trial.
Christina Donovan: Okay, right.
Scott Kelsey: So there's three things. A free 30 day trial. Yes. It still means you need to put in your information and a credit card. So in 30 days, if you don't like it, you can opt out.
Right.
We do have like, for instance, you know, mental health awareness month. We do have the ability for people to join for a lesser charge. Right. For the month. Right. We're doing, you know, like a lot of products and services,
promotion.
And then on top of that, there is a way for people to join. We opened up kind of like a open door,
you know, no credit card needed. You can come in and actually,
you know, have.
Have the experience of what we're doing for free,
no credit card, putting your name number. So there's different ways we're trying to expose people more in terms of what we're doing. But essentially it's charge monthly,
you know, cancel any time,
you know, and then on top of that, the 30 day free trial so people can actually decide if it's for them or not.
Christine Passo: I thought you.
Tara Bansal: There used to be an annual option. Is that no longer true?
Scott Kelsey: Yeah, there's a discount on the annual. Yeah, yeah.
Tara Bansal: And I mean, I will.
It's one of those things that you almost get out of it, what you put in. And I think that's why Shareapy has the 30 days, is to give you time to really see it and experience it.
Like I wouldn't even just base it off of one meeting is for me like gradually getting to know the people and getting to experience multiple conversations,
I think is part of the power behind it.
Christine Passo: Yeah. It builds that longevity of friendship and trust and where you want to come back and hear I wonder what the conversation is today.
And then just to kind of add on top of what Scott said,
that probably the best way to stay in touch with what we're offering and what we're doing is to follow us on social media sometimes, you know, with websites it can take a little time or it's under construction or I do admit that sometimes it's, we're, you know, we're not able to get things uploaded as quickly when we have promotion.
So. So yeah, Instagram, LinkedIn, follow us and you know,
hey,
stay curious while you're following us because that's what we're all about.
Christina Donovan: That's really helpful. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Is there a question you wish we had asked?
Scott Kelsey: I can't think of any. Right, okay.
Christine Passo: Actually I can think of one.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah.
Christine Passo: Why wouldn't someone want to join, Sheriff?
Scott Kelsey: Right.
Christine Passo: I mean, because, you know, you. Here we are, we're talking about all the reasons you should and why you shouldn't. And one reason maybe somebody might not want to join is if they want to come and complain.
Right. They just feel like they need a venting outlet where they can come in all the time. And we're not like that. We're, we're there for growth and support. We're there for curiosity and acceptance and also for somebody who kind of wants a replacement for therapy because maybe they can't,
they can't afford therapy, that we're not for them. We, we are, we're not there to make suggestions in that way. In fact, we hardly ever make suggestions because the suggestions come through shared, lived experiences that are told by our other members.
It's like, oh, wow, that happened to you too? And I never thought of it this way.
And so, you know, there are people that may not be interested in Shareapy or people that want to not share what they're really thinking and instead maybe criticize. Nope. Shareapy is, that's not for them or
Tara Bansal: in person like it is on a screen.
It's virtual, which has, has its benefits. Right. It's very convenient, very easy.
But I also think some people really want the in person experience and CRP
Christine Passo: does not have that.
And that's certainly part of our long term plan is to have in person events where we get people together, which I think would be like a family reunion to our members because that's how, that's how close we become.
But Scott, please add anything else. I know our time is almost Up. But I just wanted to be clear on that. Right. Because.
Tara Bansal: No, I think that was a great question.
Christina Donovan: Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Yeah.
Christine Passo: That's, that's the quality of folks that, that we're sharing conversation with.
Tara Bansal: Anything Scott, you would add for who CRP is not right for.
Scott Kelsey: I don't, I don't whether, I don't know whether being the founder and makes me biased.
I would agree with, you know, it's not a place to come and complain.
You know,
I think it can and hopefully will be for everyone to whatever wellness means to them. Right. To whatever,
you know, connection means to them. You know, I think I go by the.
Even if people aren't as comfortable with online,
maybe they've just been on the, you know, maybe it's work meetings or whether it's, you know, whatever.
Maybe,
maybe they, they don't realize it is for them too. Right. Maybe they can find a space like Christine so thankfully found. But yeah, I mean,
I don't know how people would decide that without try it. Right. It's not trying to get money from people up front. Like,
like anything else you do, whether it's a new flavor ice cream at the local ice cream place or whatever.
If you try it. Hey, if you try it and it's not for you. Right now we understand, like, we don't plan on going anywhere.
You know, we'll be here. Right.
Tara Bansal: So I love that.
Christina Donovan: Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Well, thank you both for making.
Christina Donovan: Thank you. This was so interesting. Yeah.
Tara Bansal: And Shareapy is all about connection. And as I said, I just thought that was so perfect for our theme of this season and I feel like all of us can use some help.
And so that's what Shareapy is all about.
And what is it?
Listen, think.
What? What's the listen, think, share?
Christina Donovan: Right? Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Listen, think, share, which good advice for all of us. Yes, all the time.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah. Well, I appreciate the opportunity to be with you both today and share what we're doing with your audience. So tremendous pleasure of doing so.
Christina Donovan: Yeah.
Scott Kelsey: Yeah.
Tara Bansal: Thank you so much.
Christine Passo: Great to meet the two of you. Thank you so much for this space and time and connection.
Christina Donovan: Yes.
Tara Bansal: Yes.
Christina Donovan: We hope you enjoyed learning about Shareapy today.
Our connection challenge is, as you might have guessed,
is to check out Shareapy.
They offer a one month free trial that we urge everyone to take advantage of.
Once you sign up, you can attend an introductory gathering to learn more about the Shareapy method and ways and then you can attend for one month regular Shareapy get togethers.
We hope you will do this and we also hope you will let us know what you think.
You can find sherapee@www.she therapy.com. it is spelled exactly as it sounds S H A R E A P Y and we also have links on our website.
Thanks. See you next time.
Tara Bansal: Thank you for joining us today on Messy Middle Essence.
You can always find more about us plus the transcript or show notes at our website www.messymiddalescence.com M E S S Y M I D D L E S C e n c e.com and if you liked what you heard, please subscribe or share this episode with a friend
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Scott Kelsey
Scott Kelsey is the Founder and CEO of Shareapy, a platform dedicated to helping people build meaningful connections through conversation and community.
A former professional hockey player with more than 25 years of leadership experience in sales, relationship management, and finance, Scott has built his career around bringing people together and creating environments where individuals feel supported, connected, and empowered.
Through Shareapy, he is working to create a world where no one has to navigate life alone, helping people connect, heal, and grow through the power of authentic conversation and shared experiences.
Christine Passo
Christine Passo's career has always centered around people. With more than 15 years of experience in client relationship management, behavioral wellness, community engagement, and coaching, she has dedicated her work to helping individuals feel supported, informed, and connected. From facilitating peer support conversations and coordinating wellness programs to managing complex client relationships, Christine brings a combination of strong organizational skills, empathy, and a genuine passion for improving mental health, emotional well-being, and human connection.
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This week's challenge is simple: check out Shareapy.
They offer a one month free trial that we urge everyone to take advantage of.
Once you sign up, you can attend an introductory gathering to learn more about the Shareapy method and then you can attend regular Shareapy get togethers for one month .
We hope you will try Shareapy and let us know what you think.