56. Broken Open: Grief, Healing, and Hope with Linda Henderson
“Embrace the moments. Cherish the memories. Hope for tomorrow.”
After losing her daughter Andrea in a tragic car accident, Linda Henderson found herself navigating every parent’s worst nightmare.
In this deeply moving conversation, Linda shares her journey through grief, love, healing, and hope. A nurse for 37 years, Linda had spent much of her life caring for others through illness and loss. But nothing could have prepared her for the sudden death of her 27-year-old daughter — who was a mother, social worker, writer, animal lover, and deeply loved daughter and sister.
Years later, Linda wrote her book, The Road of Love and Hope: The Journey of Child Loss, as a way to share her grief story, honor her daughter’s life, and help others feel less alone in their own grief journey. In the episode, she talks about how writing and sharing her story ultimately became part of her healing.
Linda speaks honestly about the early days of grief — the shock, the depression, the inability to function, and the tiny “baby steps” that slowly helped her begin rebuilding her life again. One of the things that stayed with us most was her reminder that healing sometimes starts with incredibly small wins: taking a shower, stepping outside, drinking water, or going for a walk.
She also talks about the ways she continues to honor Andrea and keep her part of everyday life — through storytelling, family traditions, gardening, writing, and helping others navigate grief themselves. Rather than “moving on,” Linda shares what it looks like to carry love forward.
This conversation felt especially personal and emotional for us. We had already planned to have Linda on the show and had recently finished reading her book when a sixth grader in Tara’s community tragically died in a bike accident. Reading Linda’s story while witnessing another family’s unimaginable loss made this conversation feel heartbreakingly real. As parents, it is impossible not to feel the weight of that kind of unimaginable grief.
And yet, despite the heaviness of this topic, there is also so much hope in it.
Linda reminds us that grief exists because of love. That healing is not linear and is different for everyone. That helping others can become part of healing ourselves. And that even in brokenness, beauty, meaning, and connection can still be present.
Episode Highlights
Linda shares the story of losing her daughter Andrea in a tragic car accident
The difference between grief “existing” and truly grieving
Why grief becomes part of us rather than something we “finish”
The importance of tiny achievable steps during deep grief
Journaling, counseling, nature, and walking as healing tools
How Linda continues to honor Andrea through various rituals and traditions
How and why Linda wrote her book, The Road of Love and Hope: The Journey of Child Loss
The healing power of helping others and telling our stories
How grief changes identity, priorities, and perspective
Why love continues long after death
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[00:22] Christina Donovan: Welcome to Messy Middlescence.
[00:24] This is a podcast where. Where we talk honestly about the changes, challenges, connections, and gifts that come with midlife.
[00:32] Nothing too polished, just real conversations that remind us we're not alone.
[00:37] So let's dive in.
[00:40] Tara Bansal: Welcome to Messy Middle Essence.
[00:42] Today's conversation feels especially meaningful and very real for us right now.
[00:49] Today, we're joined by Linda Henderson.
[00:52] Linda spent 37 years as a nurse caring for others.
[00:56] And after the loss of her daughter, Andrea, she found a new purpose in helping others navigate grief.
[01:04] She's the author of the book the Road of Love and Hope.
[01:08] This book offers both honesty and guidance for those walking through loss.
[01:14] Linda has also continued her work in grief education,
[01:18] earning certifications in grief and bereavement,
[01:21] coping with child loss, and counseling as a way to support people through loss and help them find a path forward.
[01:29] Grief is a part of life, and I feel like even more so during Messy Middlescence,
[01:36] as Linda said before we even began, you know,
[01:39] I almost feel like you can never spend enough time on this topic because it is so personal and unique and challenging, I think, for all of us. And grief is an expression of love.
[01:56] We are thrilled to have you here. Both Tina and I read your book,
[02:00] and I'm just going to hand it over to you,
[02:05] but we always start with the question.
[02:08] Please tell us your story or let our listeners know what you would like them to know about you, Linda.
[02:14] So thank you for coming.
[02:16] Linda Henderson: Well, thank you, Tara and Christina, for inviting me to be sharing and part of your journey on your podcast.
[02:26] It's my honor to be here.
[02:28] My story is. I always refer to my story as my love story because really,
[02:36] that's what it is.
[02:38] Yes, it's about death,
[02:40] but it's my love story.
[02:42] I have encountered grief with a lot of things,
[02:46] a lot of different kinds of grief.
[02:48] I lost my mom when I was.
[02:52] I was raising my two young girls at the time. I was about 42.
[02:57] And,
[02:58] you know, we.
[02:59] I always. I come from a family, first of all, where I have two brothers. I'm the oldest,
[03:06] and I always wished for a sister.
[03:09] And I was blessed with a mother that was the be all and end all.
[03:15] I loved her so dearly.
[03:17] And when I lost her,
[03:20] she suffered with cancer for a few years. And so we did have the anticipatory grief, but it does in no way prepare you, even though you are anticipating it and you know it's going to happen.
[03:33] You know, it's. It's still really, really tough. And so that was my first experience with grief,
[03:39] and I was Working at the time, I took about two weeks off, and then I just went back at it because I was a single mom at that time with two kids,
[03:49] and I had no choice.
[03:52] I was a nurse. I had my career, and I had to look after my girls. And my mom always told me, I remember saying to her one time, even before she.
[04:01] She, you know, got cancer, like, you know, I love you so much. I don't know what I would ever do without you. Right? And she. She said to me, you will be okay.
[04:11] You have to look after your girls. So that kept me going. Her words kept me going.
[04:16] And, you know, I carried on. And then Andrea,
[04:20] she. Growing up, I have to talk about her and brag a little bit because she was.
[04:26] I would say,
[04:27] you know,
[04:28] if you're going to have a child and have a good one, she was.
[04:32] She never gave me any problems. She was a very quiet girl.
[04:37] She was easy to raise. You know, she wasn't really that defiant.
[04:41] And is she the older or was she the older. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, she. I had.
[04:49] Right now, I've been married for 30 years, and we have a blended family.
[04:53] When we got together, my husband had three children and I had my two girls,
[04:59] and her sister was the oldest. Andrea was my baby.
[05:03] So she was my youngest, my baby. And she was studious in school.
[05:10] She was just very clever. She was a reader. She loved to write. I remember when she was about 12 years old, she had.
[05:19] In writing.
[05:20] And when I read it, it sounded like I was reading a novel.
[05:24] And when I divorced,
[05:26] you know, that became another loss in my life and, you know, things disappeared. And unfortunately, I don't have that. But she. Yeah, she was very talented, creative,
[05:39] and she, you know, I did the usual things. Had her in dancing. She didn't like that. I had her. Then I put her in baton lessons.
[05:46] But I think you call it in the States majorettes.
[05:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah, we call it baton. And so, you know, we traveled across Canada and she did the provincials there, and she didn't really like that either.
[05:58] So then I introduced her to horseback riding, and, man, oh, man, that became a passion that followed her until the day that she.
[06:09] She eventually owned her own horse. She was in horseback riding.
[06:12] She knew everything about horses. There was not one question you could ask that kid that she didn't know about horses. And then it got into horse racing. I remember one time she took us to Toronto in Ontario,
[06:23] to the big racetracks there, and I'm like, okay, I'll go with you. But I know nothing about this. And they hand you this paper,
[06:29] and it's got all this information about each horse. And I'm like,
[06:35] tell me, Andrea. So she just deciphered the whole thing, told me all about it,
[06:40] and it was amazing. She was like 16 years old at the time,
[06:43] so that was her.
[06:44] Christina Donovan: Was she an animal lover in general, or was it specifically horse?
[06:48] Linda Henderson: When she was a kid growing up, she. She said she wanted to be a vet. You know, kids say that they want to be different things,
[06:54] lots of different things growing up, but that hung on for quite a while.
[06:58] And then when she got into high school,
[07:01] math wasn't her forte.
[07:04] More the English, the writing, you know, that.
[07:08] That area.
[07:08] So then she wanted to become a journalist.
[07:12] And she did go to college, and she did do her first semester in journaling. And then she came home and said, it's not quite what I wanted. They kind of make you say what they want, and, you know, it wasn't what she wanted.
[07:27] So she became a social worker.
[07:30] And she.
[07:31] Because of who she was, her personality,
[07:34] her compassion,
[07:37] the, you know, understanding, her patience,
[07:41] all of that,
[07:42] she was in the right place.
[07:44] And so she ended up meeting her. You know, I always say she was at the prime in her life. She was 27 years old. They had just bought a house in the summer.
[07:57] They watched it get built. How exciting that is. I remember going with her, taking pictures, and,
[08:03] no, the foundation's done and the whole process, right?
[08:06] And they moved in, and she was in the house five months.
[08:13] But she, you know, had her dream. She had a beautiful wedding. She had her house. She had her little boy who was two years old and anxiously expecting her second baby.
[08:25] She was out in the community. She worked with the youth of our community, girls between the ages of 13 and,
[08:33] say, 17, who had been through the foster care. And this was kind of like the end of the road for them.
[08:40] And so she was a teacher in their literacy program, teaching them how to read as well as, you know, teaching them how to be good citizens in society. And they were out on December 20, 2011, in the community,
[08:53] her and her co worker.
[08:55] And they had a couple of girls in the car with them,
[08:59] and they had raised money.
[09:00] They were teaching them, you know, like to adopt a child. They had just called the main office and said, look what we've done. We've raised this money. You know, these girls are so excited.
[09:10] And they were returning to their place of employment, which was about a block away from where the accident was. So they stopped.
[09:20] Andrea was a passenger. Her co worker was the driver.
[09:23] They were stopped when waiting to turn left when a transport truck driver hit them from behind. Full speed texting and driving,
[09:32] having an argument with his girlfriend on the phone,
[09:35] pushed their vehicle into the oncoming traffic,
[09:40] where they were hit yet again.
[09:42] And their car was T boned.
[09:44] Andrea was killed instantly and her co worker. The two girls in the back,
[09:50] one, they were hospitalized, one was airlifted, and they're traumatized for life, but they survived.
[09:57] That is the day when I was introduced to grief in a completely different way.
[10:05] Because grief is love.
[10:08] And grief, as you said,
[10:10] is so unique.
[10:12] It is unique.
[10:14] As unique as your fingerprint,
[10:16] right?
[10:17] Because we all come with different, Relate different experiences. How we grew up, how.
[10:22] How we perceived grief, you know, our parents,
[10:26] the influences,
[10:29] culture,
[10:30] relationships.
[10:31] And here I was with my baby girl.
[10:36] Yes, I lost my mom.
[10:37] And yes, I was a nurse for 37 years. And I had dealed with death a lot, held the hand of a lot of people that were dying,
[10:47] supported family members. But at the end of the day, I could go home and I could say,
[10:51] oh, thank God, that's not me. That's not my family.
[10:54] So in no way could I ever have been prepared for this grief, for the loss of my daughter.
[11:03] I was just left with my life shattered, you know,
[11:08] in shock. And it's one of those things where, you know, we listen to the radio and the news and,
[11:14] you know, we hear about these accidents. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, that's so sad.
[11:19] Oh, again,
[11:20] I'm so glad that's not me. That poor family, that poor mother, Right? And then I became part of it,
[11:26] and I did not know what to do.
[11:29] You know, for the first,
[11:31] my husband took two months off work.
[11:34] And I always say that I was like a robot. I was highly medicated.
[11:39] And he looked after me and he told me when it was time to eat.
[11:45] Didn't have to tell me when it was time to sleep because bed was where I lived.
[11:51] But, you know, he'd come home, when he did go back to work, he'd come home and say, so when's the last time you showered?
[11:57] I'm like, I don't know.
[11:59] When's the. When's the last time you brushed your teeth?
[12:03] I don't know.
[12:04] Because you're so wrapped up in the emotional pain that the activities of daily living, the normal things that we take for granted, is not. It's obsolete. Don't even think about it.
[12:16] I said, well, why don't you just write them down? Write something down.
[12:20] So that's how I started to Rebuild my life again by making those tiny, tiny, little baby steps one step at a time. Tiny goals, achievable goals. So I'd write down, shower, just one thing for the day.
[12:35] And I'd wake up and look, okay. You know, carry my broken body to the shower. And then I remember the first time I did that, and he came home, and I'd be like, guess what I did today?
[12:47] He says, what did you do? I showered. And so, you know, that's.
[12:53] That's part of how you rebuild. You know, you set those tiny, achievable goals and celebrate when there's success.
[13:02] But keep in mind, too, that if. If you don't succeed,
[13:06] there's always another time, right?
[13:08] Tara Bansal: Yeah. Were you someone who journaled before?
[13:16] Linda Henderson: No, I didn't journal.
[13:18] I was just too busy working. I was part of that busy world. You know, I was doing community nursing at the time and seeing probably up to 12 clients in the community a day,
[13:30] driving all over the countryside. And,
[13:32] you know, it was our. Our.
[13:36] I did not journal.
[13:37] Did not journal for anything other than writing professionally, you know, documentation, that kind of thing.
[13:44] No, journaling was not something I did.
[13:47] Christina Donovan: And then. Well, I know in your book, you have excerpts from your journal. I mean, when did you actually start journaling? Like, on a regular basis?
[13:59] Linda Henderson: In.
[14:00] I didn't journal on a regular basis in the first year.
[14:04] In the first year when my husband went back to work after a couple of months, and I was with me, myself, and I.
[14:14] And,
[14:15] you know, I would just start journaling and writing down what I was feeling, and, you know, some of those,
[14:21] you know, just. Just everything. Regurgitated it to the paper, and then with the tears. And sometimes there was just a few sentences. Sometimes, you know, it got to be a paragraph,
[14:32] and it was a way to,
[14:36] like, just release.
[14:39] Release the emotions. Right.
[14:41] And I carried on with the journaling for probably,
[14:46] I don't know, about a year and a half.
[14:49] But in the meantime, you know, I saw my family physician regularly for medication changes and whatnot.
[14:57] I hooked up with a counselor,
[14:59] and I saw that same counselor for nine years.
[15:03] Christina Donovan: Oh, wow.
[15:04] Tara Bansal: How long after the accident did you start seeing the counselor?
[15:09] Linda Henderson: Probably three months. Okay.
[15:12] Well, yeah, when my husband went back to work, it was like,
[15:16] I need. I need to see someone. I need to talk to someone. And I did talk. Like, I went through two people, two counselors before I met this person that I saw for nine years.
[15:27] And I saw a man. And I'm like,
[15:29] you know, we. We just didn't connect. Counseling is an absolute wonderful tool but it has to be someone that you connect with. It has to be someone that you feel comfortable with, that and safe and, you know,
[15:43] so that guy was no good. And then there was another lady who could only counsel me for so long through hospice. And then I met up with my counselor. Her name was Linda.
[15:52] And,
[15:54] yeah, we.
[15:55] She, you know, had not experienced child loss.
[15:59] I'm not sure really what kind of grief she. She had suffered, but she was a social worker. Is a social worker. She still lives in the next town from me.
[16:09] And she was wonderful. You know, I would just.
[16:12] We developed a bond, and it was so part of it. It was part of my healing journey, for sure. And I also connected within the first six months with Mom's group.
[16:24] There was a group of bereaved moms that got together once every two weeks.
[16:30] And I would go there, and I remember the first time going there, you know, there again. It has to be the right time. It has to be when you're ready.
[16:39] And I walked into the group and introduced myself and, you know, the usual starting before the group, and everybody's chuckling and laughing and making jokes.
[16:52] And I looked around and I'm like,
[16:54] this is not for me. I can't be here. Like, I. I just was not at the right. It wasn't the timing for me.
[17:02] So I walked out, and I think I returned about six months later. I had to wait until I was. Until I realized that it was okay to smile again,
[17:11] you know, but that took a long time, but I was able to at least accept their smiles.
[17:18] Time,
[17:19] right,
[17:20] time does not heal, but it pushes us along,
[17:23] and it is a passageway where we walk and we walk with grief and we learn.
[17:32] We get educated and we learn what is the coping skills. And, you know,
[17:37] grief teaches us many lessons, right? So,
[17:40] yeah.
[17:44] When.
[17:44] Tara Bansal: What led you to write the book?
[17:51] Linda Henderson: I wrote my book nine years into my journey.
[17:56] Everybody is different. Grief is different for everybody.
[17:59] But the first three years of my grief, I didn't grieve. I was just walking around like a zombie. You know, if you put time to it, I was just grieving nine years in.
[18:10] I said, you know, I want to write a book. I've got so many stories. I've got so much to tell.
[18:15] I can.
[18:16] I can. I can inspire, you know, someone that reads my story.
[18:20] I can. I can help them.
[18:22] So I sat down, I told my husband, and I was a nurse and knew nothing about computers. And he says, well, you just sit down in front of Word and you start typing.
[18:32] So that's what I did. And day. And like all day long I'd get up and he'd come home from work, and I'm still in my PJs and I've barely had lunch.
[18:42] And, you know, I just threw myself back into those. That dark moment.
[18:50] It. It was hard. It was difficult,
[18:53] exhausting.
[18:55] But I wanted. When I wrote the book, I wanted it to be relatable. I wanted it to be,
[19:01] you know, easily digested. Um, in the first six months, when I lost Andrea,
[19:07] I. I was born and raised in a Christian home and I believed in heaven,
[19:12] and I believe that's where Andrea is.
[19:14] But I wanted,
[19:17] I don't know, confirmation. So I read all these books on near death experiences. I wanted to know what other people had experienced, you know, what they saw, heaven, what it was like.
[19:27] And so I was reading all these books and it helped.
[19:30] And then this one book was written by. I can't remember what it was called, written by a psychologist and his near death experience.
[19:38] And I, you know, thought, okay, flipped through it and I thought, oh, it looks kind of heavy. Linda, you can do this. You know, you are a nurse. You'll understand all that medical jargon, right?
[19:47] And so I read maybe the first chapter and said, oh, my gosh,
[19:52] my grief brain cannot handle all of this wording.
[19:56] Like, it just wasn't something I wanted. I didn't crave it from that book.
[20:01] And so when I wrote my book, I wanted it to be understandable, relatable.
[20:06] I wanted the person that picked it up, if they were grieving or knew someone that was grieving, that they would totally understand what this world is like.
[20:16] And so that's what I did. I wanted it to be like if a mother or anyone picked it up,
[20:22] that they would know that you're normal,
[20:24] you're okay,
[20:26] you're not going crazy, you're not losing your mind. Grief is a whole body experience. This is what it does to you. And so that's.
[20:33] I had so many stories to tell.
[20:36] Christina Donovan: I mean, would you say your book was part of your healing process or by the time you wrote it?
[20:44] Linda Henderson: I didn't think it was healing at the time. I just knew it was something I wanted to do.
[20:49] Christina Donovan: Right.
[20:50] Linda Henderson: I wanted to. And it was. It was kind of like journaling, but in a big way,
[20:55] right? So I could. I could regurgitate all of these stories, all of these things that were in my head, you know, Andrea's garden and the woman that I met and.
[21:04] And how today that is part of. And so I didn't realize it was healing at the time I had no idea, I didn't think about healing. All I thought about was that I wanted to write a book.
[21:14] And my goal was if I can help one person,
[21:19] then I've achieved my goal.
[21:21] And then that, that, that is part of my healing. But after it was published, you know, I made connections with so many people, like online grief groups, grief support groups,
[21:34] people that have become now friends, and then doing book signings and talking to people.
[21:39] And I, I have healed more in the last three years since writing my book than I did the nine years prior to that.
[21:49] Tara Bansal: And what do you think helped with that healing?
[21:53] Linda Henderson: Telling the story.
[21:54] Because when I wrote the book, then that's how I got connected with people that have podcasts.
[22:00] And so then I was able to tell my story and talk about the book. And the more you tell your story,
[22:08] the more I guess it becomes reality in your brain.
[22:12] And then, and then I was honoring Andrea. She was a journalist, you know, she wrote for her high school newspaper.
[22:20] So I'm continuing her life.
[22:23] I'm continuing her.
[22:25] Creating a legacy for myself and her. And I'm continuing her life.
[22:30] Definitely, like all the podcasts telling my story,
[22:33] it's all about honor. I'm honoring her.
[22:36] You know, I honor her every,
[22:39] every day I talk to her.
[22:41] Hi, Andrea. Hi, babes. Oh, mommy's tired today.
[22:45] Whatever, right? I have a big picture. We have a split level house. And I go downstairs and there's her big poster picture. And then you walk in the door, we into the living room and I had.
[22:55] We met a guy in Cuba,
[22:57] his, his mom actually,
[22:59] and he was like an 18 year old artist.
[23:02] And we came back to Ontario and they're like two hours from us.
[23:06] And so he did this portrait of Andrea, this oil portrait, and it's in the living room and wherever we are, she's looking at us and we talk to her. You have no choice but to talk to her.
[23:17] Everyone,
[23:17] all her family,
[23:18] right?
[23:20] And we honor her in everything we do. She is still here. She's still part of us.
[23:26] Mother's Day. She loved mosaics. She had a dream. She talked to my husband, who's a woodworker,
[23:32] and she said she wanted to make a mosaic table,
[23:36] but she wanted to make it from like, she wanted to go to the secondhand stores and buy the cheap, pretty flowered cups and break them, make her own broken glass,
[23:51] and she wanted to make a mosaic table.
[23:54] So Mother's Day this year,
[23:55] I have purchased mosaic lamps to be put together for all of the women. Like, there's my daughter her sister and then my two granddaughters and myself.
[24:09] And we'll be all making these mosaic lamps while we're making it for us to enjoy the event and be together.
[24:18] But it's honoring her. And she's smiling. She would love to be there. And part of that. Right.
[24:25] It's not quite the way that she had described it. Comes the kit and you put it together, but you know, just things like that. My husband and I sit down and if, you know, we've had a busy week and we have a glass of wine, we have it in her glasses,
[24:39] we light the candle for her.
[24:41] You know, everything.
[24:43] Everything is about Andrea.
[24:45] Fourteen and a half. Why wouldn't it be? People brag about their children. I brag about my other daughter,
[24:51] who's here with me physically.
[24:54] So why wouldn't I brag about Andrea and have her as part of my life still?
[25:00] Yeah.
[25:01] Total honor. And that, you know, that's what keeps the love. The love and bond that we have is the beacon that shines that keeps me going.
[25:14] Tara Bansal: I love. In the book, you talked about different things that you do and to honor her. And just like this idea, I love it. It's so creative and relates to her, but also brings you joy.
[25:30] And the other, like, at Christmas time.
[25:32] Linda Henderson: Her accident was December 20th. So you can imagine Christmas. My husband, we always used to joke. He was Mr. Christmas. He is Mr. Christmas himself,
[25:41] because Christmas is important for a lot of people. But he was, like, over the top.
[25:47] I just kind of. Even now, I kind of just join in and do what I have to do.
[25:52] And, you know,
[25:53] the smiles are there and the happiness is there in a different way, complete. Because I'm a new person. I'm not who I was back then. So, like, I have six great grandchildren, and I have many blessings in life,
[26:06] and so I enjoy them.
[26:09] But inside, there's still brokenness,
[26:12] right? There's still brokenness. The brokenness will always be there.
[26:16] We always set aside a day that we call Andrea's day.
[26:20] And the family gets together, and it's not about Christmas,
[26:24] it's about Andrea.
[26:25] Because Christmas is so difficult. We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day. But sometimes through the holidays,
[26:32] I'll have a special dinner. It'll be all her favorite foods.
[26:36] Pasta salad my husband makes.
[26:40] She used to like lemon meringue pie without the white on the top.
[26:45] So he made lemon meringue in the pudding cups. So he makes those.
[26:51] All her foods. We play her music,
[26:55] we light.
[26:56] One year, I made orange candles. Clementine oranges were her favorite. So I cut them in half and put candles in, and the scent of orange was through. And we all.
[27:06] This year, we all wore purple or red, her favorite colors.
[27:10] So every year, we have at Christmas time and Andrea day,
[27:14] and we celebrate her all the time.
[27:18] It's like, you know, I can say it now, but it. It.
[27:22] It's not like she's not gone, but she's still very close.
[27:26] Mm.
[27:27] Right.
[27:29] Christina Donovan: I mean, what would you say surprised you the most about your grief?
[27:34] Because, as you said, you've. You. You did grieve with your mother.
[27:40] But what surprised.
[27:42] What surprised you the most this time with Andrea?
[27:46] Linda Henderson: Well, it's a different relationship. You know, I mean, my mother, like I said, I loved her more than with every heart.
[27:53] With every beat of my heart. And when I went back to work,
[27:56] and there was always triggers, and I would have to go in the bathroom in the middle of working and have my meltdown, and, you know, I grieved her. For Andrea, I think what.
[28:05] What really surprised me the most with the limited knowledge that I had about grief was how grief lives within every thought fiber of my being.
[28:20] The grief, the loss for her lives within every fiber of my being.
[28:26] I didn't for one minute expect that it would go away.
[28:30] I'm just really surprised at how now it's part of me. It's part of me. My left arm is part of me. My right arm is. Grief is part of me.
[28:39] Leave. Grief dwells in me.
[28:42] And I'm surprised at that,
[28:45] I guess,
[28:46] you know, maybe if someone had told me in the beginning,
[28:51] you know, I.
[28:52] I.
[28:54] I might have, you know, thought differently. I don't know.
[28:57] But I'm just. It. It lives in me. It's part of my life. And I've had to accept that,
[29:03] you know, that I still. I still grieve her. You know, I may have,
[29:09] you know, you know, a good week,
[29:11] or I may have a good, you know, where I've had some few days where I haven't cried, and then something will happen, and I can be brought back to that moment.
[29:20] You know, that's the thing about triggers. They creep around the corner when you're least expecting them, and they can bring you back to that deep, dark place within seconds. And you just have to let grief have its space.
[29:35] Place.
[29:36] That's. And it's like so many things I've learned that you. You. You cannot. Society thinks that, okay, you've grieved for whatever period of time. You know, after the funeral, people go back to their lives, and, you know, you get the occasional phone calls and people and then they just kind of,
[29:54] you know,
[29:55] awake. Move on. Yeah, move on.
[29:58] But you don't. You're still here,
[30:01] right?
[30:01] Tara Bansal: Well, I have a question just related to that.
[30:04] Linda Henderson: Anyway, society. That's what I. Sorry. That's what I was going to say. Society expects you to put grief in a little box and put it on the shelf and say, there, I've dealt with it.
[30:17] Right. I'm done. And they don't want to hear you talk about it. And they don't like to hear you,
[30:23] you know, talk about. Like, I even have a.
[30:26] Well, many friends that they'll ask you how you are,
[30:30] and if you're. They're not ready to hear how you really are. Well, I had a really bad day today because, you know, I went to the grocery store, and I don't know what happened, but I just felt this anxiety and.
[30:41] And, you know, sadness overwhelmed me, and I had to sit there and. And so I want to tell that story, but they're not ready to hear it.
[30:50] Not. Not.
[30:52] Certainly not 14 years later.
[30:55] Right.
[30:56] But how could you. How could you,
[30:59] you know, not be grieving your child 14 years later?
[31:02] I mean, I will grieve her until my last breath.
[31:06] So. Yeah.
[31:07] Anyway. You were going to ask a question.
[31:09] Well, I was gonna say how.
[31:12] Tara Bansal: Because you grieved your mother and that. I don't know if you can explain, like, how that was different than the grieving of your daughter at the time.
[31:27] Linda Henderson: The pain that I was going through with her was deep grief.
[31:34] You know, it overwhelmed me,
[31:38] and it was.
[31:41] I mean, grief is grief. Pain is pain. It was the same those early days of darkness,
[31:48] of losing someone. The pain is the same.
[31:53] But with Andrea,
[31:57] it's my child.
[31:58] It's part of me.
[32:01] Right?
[32:03] She.
[32:04] You know,
[32:05] it. It's just different.
[32:06] It's different because of the relationship,
[32:10] as I mentioned. And, you know, even with the relationship, you can take that further and say it depends on whether you were there at the accident.
[32:21] You know, there's the trauma, the sudden death,
[32:26] the unexpected.
[32:28] You know, all of those things are components of grief that affect how you react and how the grief is. And our relationship.
[32:37] Our relationship, we. We weren't estranged.
[32:41] We didn't leave.
[32:42] We didn't live 3,000 miles apart.
[32:47] She was part of my everyday life for 27 years.
[32:53] And so our relationship was very, very close.
[32:56] You know, when she was pregnant with her little boy,
[33:00] we talked every day. If we didn't talk every day, we texted every day,
[33:05] and I knew every symptom she had,
[33:08] and I felt her belly and felt him kick. And I was at the hospital and she had a C section. And I cried like a baby,
[33:17] afraid that she was going to die.
[33:20] As a mother. Right.
[33:22] So our relationship was extremely close.
[33:26] And that bond,
[33:28] that bond of love is what has kept me going.
[33:31] But I believe the depth of pain,
[33:34] all those things influence the depths of your pain.
[33:38] Yeah, that makes sense. That's the only way I can explain it.
[33:44] Christina Donovan: I love in your book the way you have quotes spread throughout. I think every chapter has a quote.
[33:51] Linda Henderson: Oh, the just for today. Oh, I have quotes at the beginning of the chapter and then at the end of the chapter I have just for today. Kind of food for thought.
[34:00] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[34:01] Linda Henderson: And yeah, I had no idea how. I mean, I was a nurse for all those years. And I'll date myself, I'm 71 years old. So computers were not part of our early years, not until the later part.
[34:16] I worked a lot in hospitals.
[34:19] In the latter part of the hospital,
[34:21] computers started coming in. But you know, basically my whole life,
[34:25] documentation, writing, writing, everything was handwritten.
[34:29] Right.
[34:30] So for me to sit down in front of a computer that I knew nothing about my husband, I didn't know what word was,
[34:36] he had to tell me,
[34:38] did you save it? You know, like all of those things.
[34:41] So for me to sit down and write a book was really awe inspiring to myself.
[34:48] You really did that, Linda. You know,
[34:51] but it is a great accomplishment.
[34:53] Tara Bansal: I mean, so many people talk about writing a book. I think I read the stat like it's less than 1% that actually do it.
[35:02] Linda Henderson: Really?
[35:02] Tara Bansal: Yeah, it may be 1% low, but it is phenomenally low for the people that actually finish a book.
[35:10] Linda Henderson: You know what, it, it's, it's the best thing I ever did because like I said, I have healed the most in the last three years.
[35:18] And it, the healing is, is the accomplishment that I did it. But I created a tool that I can give other people, that I can give someone to help them.
[35:30] And I don't care about the money like I do book signings. And so I remember last year I did a book signing. I think I sold maybe six books that day.
[35:37] It's not about selling the books. It's not about the money. I don't care.
[35:41] It's about me reaching out and helping others. And I remember I'm sitting there and this man came up to the table where everything is set up,
[35:50] and his arms were full of books at this bookstore.
[35:55] And I have a big poster of my book. And then I have on the table, I have a big picture of Andrea Because I also haven't talked about that. Published a book that she wrote in high school.
[36:07] So he looked at the book, my book, and he said, did you write that? I said, yes, I did.
[36:12] And so, you know, I get to talk about my daughter every day. Every time I do that, I talk about her, you know, yeah, she was killed in a car accident, but, you know, I get to tell my story,
[36:21] and that's honor.
[36:23] Everybody loves to talk about their kids,
[36:26] right? So he's carrying these books, and he said, can I buy it? I said, of course you can. So he put his books on the table, and he was flipping through it and browsing through it, and he had tears in his eyes, and he didn't say anything, and I didn't say anything.
[36:40] Well, after that is when he said, can I buy it? I said, of course you can.
[36:44] So he picked up the books, added that book to his, and he walked away with tears in his eyes. I don't know what his story is. I don't know what his loss is, but that day I could help him.
[36:57] I may be able to help him by him reading that book.
[37:01] So to me, that is. He. That's healing. Helping is healing,
[37:06] right.
[37:07] Tara Bansal: Well, that's what I. I wondered is in the past three years, how much of it is this ability to help others that's helping you,
[37:19] like,
[37:19] in that form, too, of knowing you're making a difference and feeling like.
[37:26] I don't know if I think that is helping yourself, too, by helping others.
[37:33] I'm not explaining, of course.
[37:35] Linda Henderson: Yeah, yeah. Helping is healing.
[37:37] It warms my heart to know that I can help someone.
[37:41] Right.
[37:42] And I write articles,
[37:45] and I've recently signed up as a volunteer with a grief center in New Brunswick, Canada,
[37:53] and they offer all kinds of services for grieving people.
[37:57] They have cafes for different.
[38:00] Different topics. And so they want me to write articles that they can hand out to these people.
[38:06] And they're starting a cafe for child loss in September, and they're trying to figure out a way to get me to help out with that.
[38:15] So I'm really. I.
[38:18] I hesitate to use the word excited because,
[38:23] I don't know, I guess there's just that part of me that's pulling back with grief, but I'm eager to be part of that. I'm eager to be able to help other people.
[38:35] And that. That is healing for me, you know, that is. That's my purpose. That's my new purpose in life.
[38:42] That's the new, changed Linda. My new purpose in life, I guess I help people for 37 years, physically.
[38:49] And now I can help with grief.
[38:51] Christina Donovan: Yeah,
[38:53] I mean, one of the quotes that I loved in the book was the one by John Green where he says that grief does not change you, it reveals you.
[39:04] I mean,
[39:05] has that felt true for you?
[39:07] Linda Henderson: Absolutely. Absolutely.
[39:10] It.
[39:12] With all the changes that happened,
[39:16] the new person is revealed and it doesn't happen overnight. It takes a long time.
[39:23] I'm still changing. You know, I still look in the mirror and have to assess myself. Like I,
[39:32] my perspective on life has changed. You know, everything has changed.
[39:38] If I talk to somebody or I'm at the grocery store and someone is irritated because they're in the lineup,
[39:45] I'm like,
[39:45] I'm thinking to myself, you have no idea.
[39:49] Like you're upset about that.
[39:51] Let me give you an hour. I can tell you, you know, like,
[39:56] so the little small things, you know, the book I think was one written before. Don't sweat the small stuff. Well, I mean, that's definitely me now because I don't have, and I don't have the time for that time.
[40:10] I have learned that time is valuable. Life is precious. Life is fragile and it needs to be valued and we need to live life and live it fully and not be worried about those little tiny frustrations.
[40:33] You know, you don't. It, it just doesn't make sense. So my perspective on life has changed. The new me that, that exists right now, this, this new and improved best version of Linda, I experience happiness, but it has a different definition than the happiness I had before.
[40:52] It's a different definition. You know,
[40:56] my,
[40:57] I smile and you know, I, I partake in life, but it's, it's, it's a different.
[41:05] It,
[41:05] it's not the same.
[41:07] It's not complete.
[41:09] It's not complete.
[41:11] Linda is not complete.
[41:13] But this is the best that she can be given the circumstances that I don't have her, that, that chair is empty on Mother's Day, that, that, that she can't be at the table.
[41:24] Right? So the new me. But you know, it, it's a new happiness.
[41:31] It's, it's kind of like I've been rebuilt,
[41:37] but there's still broken pieces missing, broken pieces. And you know, it's, it's like,
[41:43] I don't know, someone has a smashed up leg, it's rebuilt,
[41:47] but it's not the same.
[41:49] They're still going to go on and function, but it's not the same. It'll never be the same same.
[41:54] So that's like me,
[41:56] it's a new and improved, changed version that's always being revealed.
[42:03] Right.
[42:05] It's the only way I can explain that.
[42:09] Because,
[42:10] you know, you go through the questions of. In the beginning,
[42:14] am I. When someone asks you, you know, how many kids do you have? Do I still include her?
[42:20] Well,
[42:20] yeah, of course I do. I'm still her mother. She's still my daughter.
[42:25] She's not here with me physically, but she's still my daughter and I'm still her mother.
[42:30] But you go through all of those changes, like you have to take on a new identity.
[42:36] You know, you have all the secondary losses that you lose. People think you lose.
[42:42] You. You know, you. You grieve for that person you've lost. I lost Andrea, but I lost so much more.
[42:49] You know,
[42:51] I lost hearing her talk. I lost everything about her. I lost my future with her. I lost watching her smile as she watched her son grow up.
[43:03] Right. I also grieve for her because he's now 17,
[43:08] and every time I'm with him, I grieve for her.
[43:15] The secondary losses, like I said, identity,
[43:18] my job. I couldn't return to my job.
[43:20] You know, I had. My life was planned out. We all plan our life.
[43:25] I don't do it anymore. I have problems with that. Because you know what? Today is our only little piece of time that we can control.
[43:33] And today is what I do with today and how I make today the best day ever.
[43:39] That's what's important.
[43:40] Yeah, we'll plan for camping next week. But today is my only little piece of time that I can control. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come.
[43:49] So today is what I planned,
[43:52] see?
[43:53] Yeah, Like, I wasn't able to return to work. I was looking after people in their homes.
[43:59] Mr. Smith is diabetic and his toe is infected. Did I care about that? You know, I lost.
[44:05] I lost all my empathy. I lost who I was. I lost.
[44:09] I was a nurse for 37 years. You become who you are when you've done your. Your career.
[44:15] I lost that.
[44:17] So that was a big part of my identity. So now who am I?
[44:22] So,
[44:22] you know, you have to work and so that. That changes you and then slowly it reveals who you really are.
[44:29] Right? Yeah.
[44:33] Christina Donovan: I know this is a little off topic, but I know in the Jewish tradition, they.
[44:39] They have a ribbon that they wear at the funeral, the family, and it's torn or ripped and it's supposed to show.
[44:49] Symbolize just how extreme this death has.
[44:56] Has caused the extreme pain and change that this death is going to cause, because you can't put it back together even if you Put it back together. There will be a seam that will show.
[45:06] It's this irreversible change and pain and loss that has happened and that it affects every aspect.
[45:14] Linda Henderson: So true. So true. And when I think. When I think of mosaics now, you know, I'm thinking, same idea.
[45:21] Christina Donovan: Yeah.
[45:22] Linda Henderson: On Sunday, we are going to take those broken pieces and make something beautiful.
[45:28] Right.
[45:29] So that's me with my life. You know, I have every day I try to take my brokenness,
[45:36] my broken pieces, the pieces that are missing, all the pieces of Andrea and my life with her, who I was when I was with her. And I try to take those broken pieces and put them together and make the light shine through those cracks so that other people can see that it's possible to have hope and be inspired.
[45:58] Tara Bansal: It's beautiful.
[46:00] Linda Henderson: Yeah.
[46:02] Tara Bansal: How do you take.
[46:03] Linda Henderson: Go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead. I was just going to say I mentioned Andrea's book. In high school,
[46:09] when I was writing my book, I knew that she had written a book in high school, part of her English,
[46:14] the program when she was in grade 10, they had to write a children's book.
[46:18] So she wrote a children's book. It's called Spooky Meets a Friend.
[46:21] And I had that. What's it called?
[46:23] Christina Donovan: I'm sorry, I missed that.
[46:24] Linda Henderson: Spooky Meets a Friend.
[46:26] Christina Donovan: Okay.
[46:27] Linda Henderson: She wrote it and did all the illustrations. It'll probably be backwards, but I can show you. Yeah,
[46:34] but.
[46:35] And there's the back with her. All about her and her picture.
[46:39] But I had that published for her, so. So when I do my book signings,
[46:45] I have her picture and her pile of books and my advertising poster with my books. But that's another reason I get to talk about her all night, because I get.
[46:57] This book attracts so many kids.
[46:59] And I make.
[47:00] I make homemade bookmarks. And the tassel is all colored with all different colors because Spooky Meets a Friend has all kinds of colors on the front.
[47:11] And, you know, I offer. Would you like a free bookmark? Right. And the kids come and they want to look at it, and I sell those books. So it's like I'm.
[47:20] I'm living our legacy. Look what I'm doing. Andrea, you're an author and you're not even here.
[47:28] Yeah.
[47:29] You were going to ask something.
[47:31] Tara Bansal: Well, I was going to ask, how do you take care of yourself while holding space for other people's grief? Because it sounds like now you're working with people.
[47:45] Linda Henderson: From the very beginning, when I talked about those small baby steps, you know, it would be,
[47:53] I need to step out the front door and just look at the sky today.
[47:57] So, you know, even if you just do that, right?
[48:00] And so I started that way and then be like, I'm going to walk outside. And just. So I'd walk around the house and then I'd walk. And then gradually I walk about 45 minutes a day.
[48:13] And walking became a tool for me in my healing, for me to help me,
[48:20] a coping tool,
[48:22] because when I walked, I was able. And sometimes it's hard to push yourself out that front door because I still struggle with depression. You know, those days where I'm just.
[48:33] All I can think about is you, and I'm so sad and I just want to go to bed, but I push myself out the front door. And it. It's so we know what walking does.
[48:41] It's so beneficial for our body in every way.
[48:44] And I can. You know, there's many times when I cry and I yell and I scream and I talk to God and I talk to Andrea. And I usually walk in a.
[48:55] In a, you know, quiet industrial area where there's no people around, and I just do my thing and walk. And by the time I get home, I feel so much better and I'm ready to take on the next.
[49:08] The next hour or the next afternoon or whatever it is I have to do. One of the tools I use is walking, for sure. And writing,
[49:16] I think, has become something that really helps me because when.
[49:21] When I'm not. I've told my husband, when I'm not doing something that's grief related,
[49:27] then I just don't feel right. It's.
[49:32] It's a passion now. I write articles, and the articles, that's. I guess that's back to the journaling,
[49:39] right?
[49:40] You know, one day I wanted to use one of Andrea's purses. She loved purses. She was obsessed with purses.
[49:50] And I was looking for this red purse, her favorite color, and I wanted to just go out to the grocery store and use her purse. And do you think I could find that purse?
[49:58] Well, I collapsed. I had a really bad, brief state.
[50:02] It was just horrible.
[50:05] And so I ended up the next day starting to kind of like doing a journal. Like, this is how I just journaling how I felt and what it did to me.
[50:16] And I turned it into an article.
[50:17] And that's published on one of the grief online sites Open to Hope it's called, and it's published there. So sometimes it turns out to be a circumstance I'm dealing with.
[50:31] I end up journaling. And then it comes into an article that can help someone else.
[50:36] And that's part of my healing,
[50:39] part of looking after myself. Like, you know, the journaling, the writing, the walk, and being with nature.
[50:46] You know, when you're in nature,
[50:48] it's very healing. Listening to the birds,
[50:51] blue sky.
[50:53] Tara Bansal: I feel like that was a big
[50:54] Christina Donovan: part of the book.
[50:55] Tara Bansal: You talked about the garden and the.
[50:57] Linda Henderson: Oh, and the garden.
[50:59] We were just up there the other day. And every year we plant at the garden between the garden and here. We plant over a hundred tulip bulbs and daffodil bulbs.
[51:10] And so this is the time of year now when we go up and we're up there and all the daffodils. And I actually had. Took pictures. I. Every year I.
[51:18] What. What else can I do?
[51:20] So I take my pictures and I put them on Facebook and I talk about how beautiful Andrea's garden is doing.
[51:26] But, yeah, it's.
[51:28] Christina Donovan: The pictures in the book were beautiful. Um, I mean, I read it electronically, so they weren't colored, but they really look beautiful.
[51:37] Tara Bansal: Were you a gardener before or this is something new?
[51:41] Linda Henderson: Yeah,
[51:43] no, I was.
[51:44] I can't remember if I wrote it in the book or not, but I was up at her place of rest,
[51:49] probably.
[51:50] Well, it was in December, so it must have been, like, May or June enough that I could. Because I live in Ontario, where it's cold.
[51:59] I was laying on the grass, and I was just.
[52:02] I wanted to be through the ground with her.
[52:05] Like, I was just not here.
[52:09] And so I had this woman come up to me, and she kind of startled me.
[52:15] And she. Her name is Gail, and she introduced herself, and, you know, she talked and encouraged me,
[52:24] you know, who. Who. Are you upset about this? And I said, this is my daughter, or pictures on her stone.
[52:30] Anyway, she says, you know, I've been looking after the. The. The perimeter of the. Of the cemetery has gardens all around them.
[52:39] And she says, I've been looking after these gardens all along. She says, you know, you realize where Andrea is, which is the very last row. It was just all sumac trees behind her.
[52:48] You could make your own garden. I said, what?
[52:51] And so she's. She planted that seed that I can have my own garden. Oh, yeah, she can. So we were an hour talking.
[52:59] That summer is when we started the garden and my husband did interlocking brick.
[53:04] And now it's.
[53:07] It's a lot bigger than we had anticipated. In the book, it shows just the front section and then an angel at the back. And it. Now it's off to the right side quite a ways.
[53:18] Down.
[53:19] But,
[53:20] you know, it is her garden.
[53:22] And because when she was building her house,
[53:26] she loved rocks, another thing she loved. And they were digging up all these rocks. She says, can I save some of those for my garden? Because she wanted to build a garden at her house and have naturally the rocks that were used when you're building your house.
[53:39] Right. And so they kept them, some of them,
[53:42] and they put them underneath the deck at the back.
[53:46] And so I got these rocks.
[53:49] Her rocks are up at the garden.
[53:51] And another day of honor was that all those rocks were put in our driveway. They were dirty. My husband got out the pressure washer,
[54:00] washed them all down so it would show all their true colors. Then he went to Canadian Tire, our hardware store, and bought a special shellac that goes over them and all of those rocks.
[54:13] And it was her nieces and nephews that part were part of this whole thing. So it was like a family deal. We were fixing Andrea's rocks,
[54:23] another honor. And they're up in her garden. So she wanted to make a garden. She couldn't.
[54:29] She was going to do it the following summer because she moved in in August.
[54:33] So this is Andrea's garden. And when I go, I don't even like to say cemetery. I always say, oh, I went to Andrew's garden today.
[54:41] Yeah, I call it that.
[54:44] Rather than,
[54:45] I went up to the cemetery. I don't like to say that,
[54:48] but it is. That is therapeutic,
[54:51] for sure.
[54:53] Tara Bansal: Well, we're almost out of time. I.
[54:56] Linda Henderson: Is there
[54:58] Tara Bansal: a question we wish you wish we had asked or what? Would you like our listeners to walk away from their time?
[55:08] Linda Henderson: Well, a little motto that I have come up with that I always say, and probably, you know, it applies to a lot in life,
[55:16] is embrace the moments.
[55:21] Embrace those moments. Whatever those moments are for you. If you are grieving and you're. You're in the middle of a real crying time and you're able to take a deep breath and have a sip of water.
[55:34] That's you moving. You may not feel it, but you embrace that moment that you were able to drink some water. Embrace the moments. If you could, all you could do was look out the front door.
[55:44] However you progress and wherever you are in your grief, you embrace those moments. And then I take it, like, just, you know, appreciation comes in where I embrace the moments.
[55:55] We're camping and we're in our RV and I'll tell my husband, oh, we gotta stop. There's flowers over there. I want to take a picture of those flowers. So I go over and take them I bring them in and show them.
[56:03] He says, you realize they're weed safe. And so I tell them,
[56:07] look at the rocks. Look at how those flowers have survived the harsh, cold winter. Just like grief.
[56:14] Look at me. Look at those flowers. So I embrace the moments. I embrace the moments of laughter with the children, the grandchildren.
[56:22] Cherish the memories because those memories are moments in time that you had with your person. You cherish those memories that cause tears right now,
[56:31] but it brings warmth to your heart.
[56:34] Embrace the moments, cherish the memories. And hope for tomorrow.
[56:39] It all brings hope for tomorrow.
[56:42] Tara Bansal: That was a perfect way to end. Thank you so much, Linda.
[56:48] Christina Donovan: Yeah, thank you so much, Linda. In listening to you and in reading your book, I mean, you really embody the idea that love is stronger than death.
[56:58] Linda Henderson: Oh, love is eternal, untouched by death.
[57:04] Tara Bansal: And you're, I don't know, you inspire me just with your hope and what you've been through and.
[57:12] Linda Henderson: Oh, thank you, thank you. That warms my heart that, that, you know, that's my purpose. I'm here to inspire.
[57:23] Christina Donovan: Well, thank you.
[57:24] Linda Henderson: I always say, you know, if I can do this,
[57:27] whatever circumstance you're in that feels like it's the worst in your life, you can do it. Because if I can do this, you can do it.
[57:36] Tara Bansal: And I think that's one of the big takeaways from the book was like,
[57:41] you did make it.
[57:43] How unbelievably horrible it was, and you made it through.
[57:50] And that gives hope.
[57:53] Linda Henderson: Yes, that's right. Love is the beacon that shines to hope. Thank you.
[58:01] Tara Bansal: Thank you.
[58:02] Linda Henderson: Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.
[58:04] Tara Bansal: Today's connection challenge is one we hope that you will accept and do.
[58:09] Today's challenge is to reach out to someone you love and let them know what they mean to you. It can be a phone call, a written note, a text,
[58:19] or an in person conversation.
[58:21] Maybe it's telling someone how much you appreciate them,
[58:24] thanking them for the way they've impacted your life,
[58:27] or simply saying,
[58:28] I love you.
[58:30] Because one of the things Linda shared so beautifully is that grief exists because. Because love exists.
[58:37] And while she knew that her daughter Andrea knew how deeply she was loved, that is not always true for everyone.
[58:45] So this week, don't assume the people you love already know.
[58:49] Tell them you really can't over communicate love, appreciation, and meaning.
[58:56] And maybe in doing that, you create a meaningful moment for them and for yourself because we never really know how much time any of us have.
[59:07] Thank you for joining us today on Messy Middlescence.
[59:10] You can always find more about us plus the transcript or show notes at our website,
[59:18] www.messymiddlescence.com M E S S Y M I D D LE S C E N C E.com and if you liked what you heard, please subscribe or share this episode with a friend.
[59:37] See you next time.
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Linda Henderson is a retired nurse with 37 years of experience in compassionate care. After the profound loss of her daughter, she wrote her book The Road of Love & Hope, finding her new purpose in helping others navigate the complex journey of grief.
She holds certifications in Professional Grief and Bereavement, Coping with Child Loss, and Grief and Bereavement Counselling. Linda is the creator of the Triple-A Framework—Acknowledgment, Action, and Appreciation—offering guidance to those seeking hope after loss. She is a writer for ‘Open to Hope’ and the Compassionate Grief Centre.
Her work focuses on grief education, navigating the Grief process, and creating safe spaces for healing. Through her speaking, writing, and advocacy, Linda ensures that no one walks the road of grief alone. She continues to honor Andrea’s memory by helping others integrate loss into purpose and transform hope into a legacy.
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Linda Henderson’s Website
Learn more about Linda, her story, her writing, and her grief resources.The Road of Love & Hope: The Journey of Child Loss
Linda’s memoir about grief, love, healing, and life after the sudden loss of her daughter Andrea.Spooky Meets a Friend by Andrea Henderson
The children’s book Andrea wrote in high school that Linda later published in her honor.Open to Hope Foundation
An online grief support community featuring articles, podcasts, and stories from people navigating loss. Linda mentioned contributing articles inspired by her own grief journey.Empowered Grief Journey
A grief support and storytelling platform featuring Linda’s work and additional grief resources.
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This week’s connection challenge is simple, but deeply meaningful.
Reach out to someone you love and let them know what they mean to you.
It could be a phone call, a handwritten note, a text, or an in-person conversation. Tell someone you appreciate them. Thank them for the role they’ve played in your life. Let them hear the words, “I love you.”
One of the themes that came through so clearly in our conversation with Linda is that grief exists because love exists. And while Linda knew her daughter Andrea knew how deeply she was loved, that is not always true for everyone.
We often assume the people closest to us already know how we feel. But sometimes the simplest words become the most meaningful.
You really can’t over communicate love, appreciation, and meaning.
So this week, create a moment of connection with someone you love or appreciate. It may matter more than you realize.